VP: i saw a great pic of you crouching naked....and I want to see more. Any chance of that?

ME: How naked do you want? Like REALLY NAKED?

VP: oh yes like really naked.

ME: Like everything?

VP: actually, yes. what do you think of that?

ME: I'm just kidding. You're a stranger!

VP: yep, doesn't that add to the excitement element? well it does for me.

ME: Well, you could describe yourself in more than 200 words.

VP: that takes all the fun out of it....

VP: ok, 200s words or more

I am a new Yorker, a Scorpio (November 18th), Tenacious, Curious, Enthusiastic, Sarcastic,
Loyal, I just got back from Alaska which was truly a most incredible trip, love Joni Mitchell,
Sushi, Willa Cather, reading the Fountainhead right now, Harold and Maude is my favorite
movie, watch terrible reality TV with a fervor like Project Runway and I Love New York, but
I am addicted the Showtime hit WEEDS, love Cat Stevens, Steely Dan, John Irving ,Bruce
Springsteen, have a miniature dachshund, name Greta, I am terribly nosey, a bit pushy, I
have nice hair, a nice ass, accidentally came across you r picture on a Google search, am
intrigued by that picture, love horror films, want to spend a week on the beach in Hawaii
ASAP , I am an actor, a singer, an antagonist, a troublemaker, a dreamer, a troubadour,
have much better writing skills than this usually, but I am asking to see naked pics of you..
and that's a bit weird, right? I lived in Europe for a year, have traveled a lot, love pics of
naked asses, went to college in Boston, I am kind, with a good sense of humor, love
watermelon, hate cilantro and eggplant and now I am at 204 words…done.

ME: I will send you naked pictures in any pose that you want. They're $50 each.

Joe Paparella: oh derek.

IMAGE SEARCH