Have your things reviewed! Send them to me for free!
Derek Erdman c/o Derek Erdman 2068 N. Leavitt Chicago, IL 60647

The Dutchess & The Duke "Reservoir Park" b/w "Mary" (Boom Boom Castle 009)

After listening to Animosity by COC for 4 hours straight, this 7" of what should
have been tracks 3 & 6 on the Rolling Stones' Out Of Our Heads was a
RATHER WELCOME respite. After I realized that "The Dutchess" is actually the
girl whose wedding I crashed last October, I was overcome by excitement & shook
my hands rapidly and made a high-pitched whining noise, I do that sometimes.
This band has nothing to do with Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas, aside
from the curious spelling of Dutchess, so it's HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Crime Desire "Crime Desire" CD (Probably Life's A Rape Records, I dunno)

Colin Tappe sent me this batch of MP3s after telling me how good Coffin Joe
movies are. I'll always take time out to examine to whatever Colin tells me
about because our tastes are Kreskin spot-on. These songs are A LOT
different than the first Crime Desire record, much like Samhain is different
than The Misfits. Fortunately for me and the rest of the world I like Samhain
999 times more than The Misfits, so it seems that I like this record 999,999
times more than I like "Id Music to Combat the Superego". And I like that
record as much as I love bacon and eggs, The Misfits & roller-coasters. Dude,
that's a lot. This record isn't out yet, but the date of the files are December
06, so we share the same birthday. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

Sloth "A Whole Other World Of Fun" CD (At War With False Noise 018)

JESUS: Judging by what catches on with regular teens these days (Borvendra
Barnhardt, etc) I'm certain that the state of pop charts in 3-7 years is going to
be a REAL MIND BLOWER, especially to people who thought their tastes were
OH SO SUBVERSIVE (i.e. me) growing up. Listening to Sloth's progression from
perfect sludge to what sounds like Night Ranger mixed with Ulver assures me
that I'm not at all forward thinking. When I listened to this CD I got the same
feeling that I got when I first used the internet, like, HOW COULD I HAVE SUR-
VIVED WITHOUT THIS BEFORE. I mean, I don't even use phone books anymore,
I just Google that shit. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

Sharkula "Victor Grigas" (NO LABEL, OH WOW)

Last Thursday afternoon I was sitting in a French restaurant with two good
looking girls eating crepes when Sharkula past by the window. We locked
eyes for a second and he barged into the restaurant, his jacket giving the
"soft rub" on a well-to-do man with an annoyed look on his face. He spoke
loudly that the movie we were in together (?) was doing well all over the coun-
try and then looked at the girls proclaiming "YOU ARE A VERY BLESSED MAN".
He then presented me with his newest CD, packaged in a folded up South
Park flyer bound with a rubber band. He said it was $10 and I didn't argue
with the price BECAUSE THE FIRST TRACK IS A 6:10 LYRICAL RAP EXORCISM
OVER A LOOPY "WHAT A FOOL BELIEVES" SAMPLE, of course I didn't know
this at the time, but I always expect gold at the end of the Thigamajig rain-
bow. To lift the closer from a recent Roctober review: "Diagnosis: GOOFY".
I'm pretty sure I just heard the line "put a cucumber in a governor's wife's
booty, or a burrito". ABSOSMURFLY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.