Here is Chicago on the way out of town, it is a nice place to leave. Then the radio said, "If you are driving across the country
you are really dumb because gas is really expensive." We were driving in a, um, CARGO VAN.

This is Springfield, MO. Nobody knows what time it is there, and I mean that, you know, metaphorically.

Here is more Springfield, MO. It's a bustling town! Open a business! Join the Kawanis Club! Rotary League! Elks Lodge! IT'S ALL CLOSED.

This store sells sunlight, but they do not know that you can just get it for free outside so they are out of business too.

This is Amy eating egg mush, she gets so mad at styrofoam! She is always like, "IT WILL NEVER DECOMPOSE" and then
I am like, "YES, YOU HAVE TOLD ME THIS ALREADY" and then she says, "I AM JUST SAYING".

This is a store in Springfield. You could buy these things IF THE STORES EVER OPENED. If the hours on the door
say WE ARE OPEN FROM 12-6 then you can bet that the store will be open from 3:30-4:15 with a break somewhere
in between. I like Springfield, there is a pool at the Best Western and the woman with tattoos will give you the good hotel
rate of $49.99 and then when you try to stay there the week after the new guy behind the desk will say, "WE DON'T
HAVE A RATE OF $49.99" and then you will show him your receipt but he will not care because he is a robot.
I just called The Best Western to see if they offered a "Grape Room Rate" but the person who answered the phone didn't
understand what I was talking about. I am 34 years old.

This is a house that fell over in Springfield. I wanted to go through all of that stuff but it was wet and burned and Amy
would have probably stopped me from digging through wet books and burned clothing. That stuff is free!

Amy is doing that hand motion stuff on a couch in a house that we probably shouldn't have been doing hand motion stuff in.

YOU CAN JUST DRIVE IN OKLAHOMA AND SEE THIS KIND OF STUFF. This is a Texas Longhorn, Amy said the meat
of this animal is rather lean and tasty, but I wasn't going to go biting on that thing.

HERE ARE BISON! They are just walking down the street on their way to something more important. When I told
people that we had seen buffalo, Stan's girlfriend Cara said, "NO, THERE ARE NO MORE BUFFALO, ONLY BISON",
but I did not bother to look up this fact to see if she is right, though she probably is because she went to Wooster
where David Bowie's son went to school and wrote a paper called How to Kill Your Computer Friend: An Investigation
of the Mind/Body Problem and How It Relates to the Hypothetical Creation of a Thinking Machine, which is like, DUDE
WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT?

HOLY S, these buffalo/bison are like 3 feet away from us. We watched safely from the giant cargo van that we
had to drive because a giant rain storm with a demon's head was apparently going to eat us. Oh, you're not
going to understand that. Buffalo/bison are totally nice, we rode them! Do not ride animals, it's mean.

LOOK! This is Bernice Lahoma Wiggins. She's my favorite person that I've met in the last 5 years. She made me carry
999 boxes out to a shed in 999 degree weather. She is eating a buffalo/bison burger! Surely I jest, that would most
likely be totally illegal. NO, IT WOULDN'T! I ate a buffalo burger once, it was just ok. That's a hamburger that Bernice
is eating. The guy behind her has a giant neck tattoo, he has been or is soon going TO JAIL. I'm just speculatin'. This
is at Amy's cousin's restaurant in Oklahoma, everybody there knew everybody else and they were all like, "HEEEYYY".

We were in Oklahoma for 6 days and Amy went to Starbucks 999 times which means that she went an average
of 1,453,532 times a day. I tried to get her to go to some independent coffee shops because I'm really con-
cerned about corporate globalization but then I told her that I don't really care about that kind of stuff so then
we just started laughing and went to play tennis. Later, I threw some styrofoam on the ground, whatevs.

Amy & I went on a really long hike and got lost and we were really thirsty and tired and it was getting late and
then we looked up and saw these giant birds of prey but then 5 minutes later we went to Braum's and had some
ice cream cones.

THIS IS ME JUMPING OFF OF THE THING INTO THE WATER. I was so scared when doing it, I AM NOT
GIANT IN THE PANTS, THEY ARE INFLATED, YOU ARE MEAN, don't talk about my weight.

This place is called Holy City. These are the majestic bathrooms, I did not go into them. When I was a kid I thought
these were called "rester rooms" because people talked fast and I got confused.

I showed this picture to Dom Kaveliski and he said, "I would think an 'awesome' way to show your faith would
be to act kind to others, but what do i know? I'm no theologian."

Here is more of Holy City, this was in a comfortable room with a piano that said DO NOT TOUCH.

I am sorry this is sideways.

Oh man, this room is SO WEIRD. There is a recording that plays over and over again here, it tells you what is bad
and what is good and then there is a place to throw money at it.

Amy's hand went into hysterics while at Holy City, we reckoned she was channelling a puppetter who wasn't quite
ready for the eternal rest and perhaps wanted an awesome way to show their faith by buying a crown of thorns made
of wicker for $150.

I bought this post card at the Holy City gift shop and then Amy found the rock in the picture and we re-created the pose but
Amy was better at it than me, but my shirt was the right color, even if it is a volleyball shirt from St Paul.

When I was on this thing I wanted to pose as if I was commanding a giant crowd of bandits to do bandit things,
but then some guy came along and said, "HEY GET DOWN FROM THERE".

Amy said, "Stick your head out of here like you are waking up from a long sleep" and then I did it and
we laughed and then later that night G-D came to me in a dream and said, "WELL, YOU'RE TOTALLY
FUCKED NOW, WAY TO GO".

This is the OKC Memorial in OKC which is Oklahoma City, OK. I don't remember exactly where I was when that
truck-bomb exploded that giant building, but that whole thing was kind of a total bummer. And then there was that
weird guy that did it and he always had the same facial expression and then he got injected. I just spent 15
minutes reading about The Turner Diaries. Timothy McV was a total meth-head! He ate two pints of mint
chocolate-chip ice cream as his last meal.

OKC Bombing Memorial tiles, which are neat.

This building shows where parts of the other building was before it blew up.

This is the actual OKC Memorial. I just spent 45 minutes reading about Elohim City, Ok, Richard Snell & Jose Padilla. I really should go to sleep.

This statue is near the OKC Memorial, Amy said he looked shy.

HEY, IT'S AMY IN THE AIRPLANE. This is at The City Museum in St. Louis, MO. I told Amy that I wanted
to go here and she was like, "A MUSEUM?" meaning like, HOW BORING, but then she saw it was a bunch
of twisted metal and glass and yelling and turtles and she was happier about it.

There is a bus on the roof at The City Museum! Whenever I go there, I take this same picture of the bus.

Here are the things to climb there, some of the things are covered in blood.

Here is the ARCH! The gateway to the west! DEEP RIVER! Ok, goodnight.