Derek Erdman's Digital Infinity Palace

Notes #1: NOT A JOKE: My birthday is on Saturday, December 6th. If you feel
like making me a card or sending a note, that would be quite nice. Please
send to: Derek Erdman 1605 E. Madison #101 SEA WA 98122. Also, if you'd like
to buy me a gift, to which I'm certainly not opposed, I would never turn down: a hand
can opener (mine is wonky), cloth dinner napkins (new or vintage), furry hats (the
larger the better), old lady sweaters (big mediums, or larges), or a ouija board, if
you have one that you want to give away or you could buy one off of Amazon, it's
pretty haunted, you know? For packages please send to: Derek Erdman c/o Sub
Pop Records 2013 4th Ave, 3rd Floor, SEA WA 98121. Thanks a lot, friend!

Notes #2: I live across the street from the Central Co-Op grocery store in
Seattle, and I spend a lot of time staring out of the window watching people
come and go. Last week a guy ran out of the store followed by two other guys,
both yelling, who caught up to him really quickly. He was tackled onto the sidewalk
and I could really tell that they all fell pretty hard onto the concrete, the first guys face
was all scuffed up like strawberry Fruit by the Foot. But the best though, is that he
started taking things out of his clothes that he had tried to steal. It was outstanding
how many products he was able to conceal! He had at least three steaks, three
bottles of wine, a dozen eggs, some boxes that I couldn't identify, some produce,
and some candy bars. I was so impressed. Shoplifting makes me so nervous.

Notes #3: There is going to be a giant party at my house tomorrow night. The
weather tomorrow is supposed to be snowy and icy and Seattle has a reputation
for not really knowing how to deal with snow and ice and there are giant hills here
and all of the cars crash into each other. We'll see what happens, I reckon. I'll take
some pictures and show them to you later.

Notes #4: Even though I don't really love Seattle, I recently wrote a love letter
to Seattle for a very nice website called GOOD. You can read it here. I think the
project was funded by FORD. My aunt had a green Ford Mustang in the 1980s.
It was kind of ugly, but a pretty good car, I guess. I don't know exactly because
when you're a child, you don't have to care about cars.

Baseball Heads (Set of Two) | Seattle WA 2014 | 12"x12" | LATEX ON WOOD
$100 BUY HERE (shipping included)

Here are paintings of George Brett and Pete Rose, done in some sort of gray
scale, which isn't anything that I've really ever done before, but looks just fine.
But not fine enough that I'll do a lot more of, you know?

Burger Sign, Seattle WA 2014

There's a bunch of construction going on outside of the Sub Pop office
and it's annoying to my co-workers, so I've been putting these flyers on
the construction site signs because if I walked past one of these I'd be
sooooo stoked. #specialworkplace "That's the menu from Great Jones Cafe,
right?" - Peter Meehan, iGram

Cal Ripken Jr., Seattle WA 2014

I made a bunch of baseball drawings in the past couple of weeks for Gypsy Oak,
a company that is an absolute mystery to me. I'm not remotely sure what they
do, perhaps it is wood engraving or block prints(?). Since I only really care
about Eddie Bauer women's sweaters and baking pineapple upside-down cakes (I
made two on Sunday alone), I don't have enough energy to care about anything
else. I have begun watching the movie the Bone Collector, and so far it seems
pretty good.

Eddie Murray, Seattle WA 2014

I really only have one Eddie Murray story, and it's not really about him
personally, but on Saturday I was at a wedding and the wife of the groom's
brother, who didn't seem to be to happy in her marriage (or life) got really
wasted early during the reception and started saying pretty awful things
about the groom, only to eventually reveal that they'd been having an affair
and it was "total bullshit" that he was getting married. She eventually left
on her own but tore down a banner on her way out and kept saying, "THIS IS
BULLSHIT." Everybody pretended not to notice, but it was pretty bats.

Erdman / Swanson 2015, Seattle WA 2014

A lot of people have been asking me what these are for. They're for a movie
that was filmed in parts of Capitol Hill on 11/23. Eseeentially there's a
part of the movie where Abigail Swanson and I are running for president, and
evenutally we both get assassinated in a replication of events from the
Attempted assassination of Ronald Reagan on March 30, 1981. It was the first
time that I wore a tailored suit in ages, they're so itchy!

Everything is Easy, Nothing is Hard #2 | Seattle WA 2014 | 48"x64"
LATEX ON WOOD | $350 BUY HERE (shipping not available)

A person stayed over last night, we ate steak and danced to Big Star
for most of the night. Right before bed she saw this painting and examined
it for a full minute. "I don't like this," she finally said. "Are you okay?"
I replied that I was just fine and then ate a handful of peanut M&Ms, which
are the best M&Ms. "Forget the M&Ms—how does anyone dance to Big Star?" - Emma
Zaratian, Senior Features Writer at Nordstrom

Fear Movie Party, Seattle WA 2014

HEY SEATTLE: have you ever wanted to go to a FEAR movie theme party but you
never get invited? WELL LOOK NO MORE! We're having one tomorrow and we're
looking for 2-3 more people to join. As you can see on the flyer, we'll have
FEAR themed snacks, and FEAR themed activities. Text (***********) if you want
to come. THIS IS NOT A JOKE. Also, we're inventing a dance called the
ROLLERCOASTER and writing on our stomachs with red sharpies. #nicole4eva

Literally What I am Fucking talking About, Seattle WA 2014

I try to let everybody know how much I love plain coffee Frappuccinos, that
way if they're ever in any sort of debt to me, they'll know to buy me one and
we'll both be eternally grateful. No whipped cream, please. Size S or M.
"OMG." - Xela Del-Campo, 2014

The Music That Saved Gabe's Life, Seattle WA 2014

My favorite group texts are between Kim Selling and Gabe Nardin, they go on
all night long and range from politically relevant to Gabe being partially
offensive and upsetting Kim. I'm not even sure if they'd both agree with this.
Recently, Gabe has begun sending us actual mail about Amanda Knox,
who is apparently now doing theatre reviews for a newspaper in West Seattle.
At one point Gabe said the above statement, though I don't remember the
context, it seemed funny enough to write out and send as a picture text.

George Brett, Seattle WA 2014

George Brett and his dog Charlie appeared in a 2012 PETA ad campaign,
encouraging people not to leave their canine companions in the car during hot
weather. He also runs a baseball equipment and foam-hand company (!), Brett
Bros., with Bobby and, until his death, Ken Brett. He has also lent his name
to a restaurant that failed on the Country Club Plaza. Apparently they sold
chicken fingers for $3.99, and chickens don't even have fingers.

Here's a disused Yelp page right here.

Isis Isn't, Seattle WA 2014

Abigail and I had a really fast brainstorming session about what messages to
put onto signs. I suggested this one and didn't really know what it meant, but
she said that she liked it, even though I'm not sure if she knows what it means
either.

Jesus Slaves, Seattle WA 2014

Cienna and I were walking down the street and came upon this condo banner attached
to a fence at a construction site. We marveled at how wonky the proportions of each
person on the sign seemed way off, though you can't really tell here, like the kitchen
area seems way too tall and there are people just sitting errantly by themselves in
really awkward positions. Regardless, JESUS SLAVES is still there, three weeks later.

Hammit, Bobby | Seattle WA 2014 | 24"x24"
LATEX ON WOOD | $120 BUY HERE (shipping included)

ME: I need a caption for this one.
KIM: U could just call it 'king of the kill' and leave it at that.
GABE: Hammit, Bobby!

Great Internet Argument, Seattle WA 2014

Here's a funny conversation that I friend pointed me toward late last week. I
mean he pointed me to the beginning of it, when this guy gave a compelling
critique of my life and "work." I kind of remember this person from back in
Chicago as a psychedelic wackadoo with a large toy collection (?). Regardless,
if you're on a bunch of acid and into toys, check out his website here.

Nolan Ryan, Seattle WA 2014

I've always liked the name Nolan Ryan, and I've always liked when people have
a first name last name. Somebody called work earlier and was demanding Tad
Doyle's phone number. After I wouldn't give it to him, he started to get
hostile and asking my name like he was going to lodge a complaint. Out of
nowhere I came up with Charles Craig. He repeated it again and asked for me to
spell it, which is did as T-Y-L-E-R A-L-L-E-N S-T-E-V-E. He then paused for a
second and then said, "TYLER ALLEN STEVE" in a really stern voice. Oh my god,
it was really funny.

Nirvana Recording Notes, Seattle WA 2014

There were a bunch of boxes at work and these notes were in one of them, they
appear to be recording notes from Nirvana's last Sub Pop recording session.
Oh man, totally excellent. Interestingly (or not), the best Nirvana song is
"Aneurysm," while the worst Nirvana song is "Sliver." That's not even personal
opinion! That a fact!

Pencils | Seattle WA 2014 | 16"x24"
LATEX ON WOOD | $100 BUY HERE (shipping included)

I had my tarot cards read on Friday night and the reader told me that I should put
more emotion into my paintings, so I made this one called PENCILS.

Pete Rose, Seattle WA 2014

There was a man born in Ohio, who spent all of his time in denial, he saved
some moneyfrom evading tax and went to visit the Nile.

There was a baseball player named Pete, when playing baseball he wore cleats,
he bet on the game it was such a shame all because he wasn't discreet.

Can you fucking believe that I just came up with those off the top of my head?
Can you fucking believe that Guns & Roses named their band after this guy?

Robin Yount, Seattle WA 2014

Since retiring from baseball, Robin Yount has increased his participation in two of his
other passions, professional gymnastics and dog racing. In June 2008, Yount
announced the creation of a new all-natural lemonade drink, Robinade. A portion of the
proceeds of the sales goes to charity. Yount sometimes goes hunting with Dale Sveum.
While hunting in Arizona in 2012, Yount accidentally shot Dale Sveum with pellets in
the back and ear. Sveum's injuries were minor. (?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?)

Baseball players were so much cooler in the 1970s and 1980s, because they looked
a whole lot like drunk uncles.

Seal of Approval | Seattle WA 2014 | 12"x12" | LATEX ON WOOD
$100 BUY HERE (shipping included)

Unsure of how you're doing in life? This painting makes a great apology
gift, maybe. I love you, Sylvia.

Thursday Night w/ Steak Sandwich, Seattle WA 2014

"Quick, let's go outside and take my picture with this sandwich," I said to Mary.
We hurried down the stairs and outside, where we ran into Chris and Megan.
Chris remarked that the piece of was much too large to be part of a sandwich.
I was worried that we'd be fired for taking pictures of steak sandwiches
during work hours, but nothing came of it at all.

Stop Complaining You Big Babies, Seattle WA 2014

This is my favorite of all of the wheatpasting signs, because it takes the unpopular
position on whatever is happening in the neighborhood where I live. Some people are
mad at the restaurants and houses and stuff, while others are mad at the crusty
punkers and cops and other things that people get mad at. I'm just mad that
Sahale Almonds with Cranberries Honey + Sea Salt snacks aren't in front of me
at this very second because I want to eat so much of that stuff right now.

Lacey Swain's Yarn Projects #1, Seattle WA 2014

Lacey came over last week and hung out for the afternoon while I painted and she
was working on these excellent things, which are crochet or needlepoint or
embroidery, but I just called them "yarn projects." I liked them so much that I
wanted to scan them for her, and I liked them so much that I also wanted to show
them to you.

Lacey Swain's Yarn Projects #2, Seattle WA 2014

Erdman / Swanson 2015 #2, Seattle WA 2014

Into Sweaters Lately, Seattle WA 2014

This is just a picture of all of the Eddie Bauer for women sweaters that I've bought from
eBay in the past week. Six more have arrived since taking this picture, I have so many
sweaters now that I have no idea what to do with all of them. Except, you know, wear them.

Aretha Franklin (w/ Tall Hair), Seattle WA 2014

DID YOU KNOW": "Against her father's wishes Aretha began dating a family
acquaintance named Ted White. In 1961 they were quickly married in Ohio
by a judge. White became her personal manager as well as co-writer.
Shortly afterward, she purchased a house on Sorrento Avenue in northwest
Detroit, where she resided for the next decade. Their son Teddy (Ted
White Jr.) was born in 1964. She and Ted divorced in 1969. Teddy is the
musical director and guitarist of her touring band. From 1969 until 1976,
she had a seven-year relationship with her road manager Ken Cunningham.
(Although she and Ted White did not divorce until late 1969, Aretha con-
ceived her fourth child in June of that year.) In the early 1970s the
couple moved from Detroit to New York City, at which time Aretha's grand-
mother moved into her Sorrento Avenue home. Their son Kecalf (from the
initials of his parents' names: Kenneth E Cunningham Aretha Louise Frank-
lin and pronounced "kelf") was born on March 28, 1970 at Detroit's Henry
Ford Hospital." - The Internet 2015

This is a Good Sign, Seattle WA 2014

What is For Lunch?, Seattle WA 2014

WOW BEAR | Seattle WA 2014 | 24"x24"
LATEX ON WOOD | $100 BUY HERE (shipping included)

Erdman / Swanson 2015 #3, Seattle WA 2014

Stop Complaining You Big Babies #2 , Seattle WA 2014

Same as above, but with one of those weird babies in makeup. After those two
ladies walked by they stopped and asked what I was taking a picture of and I
just looked at the sign and said really slowly, "PROPOOOOOSED LAAAAAAND
UUUUUUUUSE AAAAAAAACTION."

Yr Dick Not My 'Sponsibility, Seattle WA 2014

Erdman / Swanson 2015 #4, Seattle WA 2014

Actual Time Travel: 11/24/2014 | 11/03/2014 | 10/02/2014 | 09/14/2014 | 08/24/2014 |
08/11/2014 | 07/20/2014 | 07/06/2014 | 06/22/2014 | 06/08/2014 | 05/18/2014 | 03/12/2014