Recent e-mails from Dom K. from Sloth. Yes, it's true!
9/27/2003: No Subject
earth is hell and god is dead.
humans continually create things to distract themselves from the truth.
god is dead and earth is hell.
9/27/2003: Subject "sanity"
if i asked my cats to behave like civilized beasts...
am i still sane?
will i ever be free?
9/27/2003: Subject "case in point"
right now, the best thing on, is "jaws 3".
i saw this crap in theaters, when it was "jaws 3-d".
at least , then, you got 3-d glasses.
conan the b is up next.
FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
something
GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
why does anyone pay for t.v.????????????
it's all crap.
infomercials, insulting sit-coms, more info-mercials. and
the only time they show something worth watching, it's butchered by editing
and info-mercials.
9/27/2003: Subject "television is stupid"
it really, really is.
9/10/2003: Subject "9 11"
do not believe
what the "american" media reports about "9/11".
the "american" media is controled by a special interest group.
listen to what mel gibson has to say.
it's not the whole truth...
but it's a start.
9/10/2003: Subject "sloth update"
we've been getting
a LOT of mail asking us what our next release will be
about.
we'll... i'm here to tell ya...
it will be a "lite-rock" opera simply entitled "valtrex".
aka
"riding a horse even if you have pussy-warts"
aka
"rub it in, rub it in"
aka
"are these blisters from riding a horse or do i still have pussy-warts?"
9/09/2003: Subject "mel gibson"
mel gibson
mel gibson
mel gibson
mel gibson
dig it?
9/05/2003: Subject "pussy"
pussy, pussy,
pussy.
i love pussy.
it's fun to stick things in pussies.
i like to put things in pussies and then look at said pussies.
man, i love pussies!
9/05/2003: Subject "hey everybody!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i love life again!!!!!!!!!!
sure, i didn't before... but, hey!!!! today is a new day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm looking at a porno ad and wishing i had some pussy to lick.
i REALLY like to lick pussy.
i'll even PAY to lick pussy.
can i sukk your pussy?
anywho...
my point is...
the new sloth lp's are finally assembled.
it took me a while, 'cause i'm a drunk.
9/04/2003: Subject "cameron diaz"
since she is uglier than a silverfish, i think if she has a broken nose,
it
would only improve her face.
9/03/2003: Subject "tv guide channel"
we recently got cable re-connected for football season.
channel 98 is "tv guide channel".
according to
it, there is a movie featuring adam sandler about a
coupon-hunting jew.
it's funny 'cause adam sandler is a jew.
9/02/2003: Subject "Ghetto Wedding Reception"
looks good to me.
i loves my ass some white castle.
no joke.
their seafood
is really good.
ask for their fried clam strip plater.
once again, i am not joking.
8/29/2003: Subject "ive..."
...been watching
mtv's "awards" show.
i have noticed a few things.
1.) some guy from "of an essence" looks like an older, fatter, balder
james
hetfield.
2.) mnm looks like a jew.
3.) carmen elektra is either a fruit-fly or a fag-hag.
4.) iggy pop is gay and probably always has been.
5.) animation betwixt videos was boring and gay.
6.) justin timberlake is gay and white.
7.) oh, duran duran.... how terribly you have aged.
8.) if jam master jay was alive, the other 2 losers of run dmc would not be
on tv.(denise noticed this).
9.) mnm is a gay, jew, nerd.
10.) every time mtv cut to commercial, we cut to BET(and it was good).
11.) lincoln park is comprised of several jews and a chink.
12.) at the next commercial(apx 10pm), we went back to BET. then we went to
bed.
8/23/2003: Subject "jason vs. freddy..."
... was really,
really, REALLY gay.
there were only 3 good scenes and they were all at the beginning.
1.)some cunt's naked fake titties & (non-fake)ass
2.)some other cunt's naked titties(possibly fake)
AND...
3.)the "kraft-matic" scene(the only good kill-scene in the whole
movie((achieved by jason(((of course)))))).
if you liked this movie, you are gay and stupid.
if this movie
scared you, you are gay and stupid.(unless you are a girl, age
12-14, in which case, i wish to have sex with you) : ) especially that
little girl in the lobby that was dressed like a whore and was scared by my
leering at her. she really was scarred, just ask denise.
8/21/2003: Subject "fireside bowl"
b4 u kill yourself,
you might wanna go check out floor. they are an awesome
band.
they are playing the fireside bowl in chi-town next month.
we might even drive out for it. are there any hotels near this
venue????????????
8/21/2003: Subject "before you kill yourself..."
i hear ya, bro.
maybe before
you do yourself in, why not shoot some people you dislike?
try and aim for their sex-organs.
just a suggestion.
8/16/2003: Subject "gacy"
WOW!
derek wouldn't lyin'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this dvd
SUCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the made 4 tv movie(starring b. dennehey), was "FAG-FUKKING-TASTIC",
compared to this crap!
p.s. check out my new e-gay items.
8/15/2003: Subject "we can't get direct-tv..."
because of some
trees or some shit.
so we got our cable turned back on for football season.
whatever ram's games are not televised, we'll end up at a sport's bar to
watch.
my point is...
even though i wanted sunday-ticket and ended up with regular cable...
it's not so bad.
i'm drinkin' 211 and watchin' BET.
8/8/2003: Subject " fun"
i know you all
live far-away and shit...
but...
it would be rude of me not to invite y'all.
denise and i are going to strip-clubs tomorrow night and would like you to
go with us.
8/7/2003: Subject " i can't remember anything..."
not to quote
metallica. but i really can't.
i went for an "mri" today. after i got it i drank a bunch of "thorr's
hammer" vodka.
i mixed it with gatorade(watermelon-flavor).(i know, i know... i'm a
"nigger-lover").
if i said anything to anyone via e-mail or telephone, i probably meant it.
i just can't remember it.
please know that, if you are on this list, i like you, for some reason.
8/6/2003: Subject "considering..."
...i showed up
for my trial in flip-flops, shorts and a t-shirt AND i
defended myself(something i have never done before), i think i did pretty
well, being found NOT guilty on 1 of 2 charges. the judge even complimented
me on my "presentation". he probably should've just scolded the
prosecutor!
i mean damn & shit!!! that mother-fucker does this shit for a living?!?!
AND HE GOT BEAT BY SOME LON-HAIRED SCUM-BAG LOOKIN' MUTHA-FUKKA WHO WAS
WEARIN' A T-SHIRT AND FLIP-FLOPS!!! if i was an honest, tax-payin' citizen
that lived in mentor, i would DEMAND a new city prosecutor!
don't get me wrong... i think i should've been found not guilty on both
counts, but there's NO way they are gonna pull a cop off duty to testify and
not get SOME money out of your innocent victim, gentile reader.
8/5/2003: Subject "my trial is tomorrow"
i will be defending myself.
if @ least 3
peeps reading this show up, and i am declared "guilty",
i will state, in court: "sukk my balls, faggit pig!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
no lie.
show-up and watch the fire-works fly!
tomorrow.
3pm.
mentor municiple court house.
8/4/2003: Subject "what the fukk is wrong with everbidy?"
life is so BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
live for a JOB??????????????????????????????
work just to live???????????????????????????????????????????
let's fukk!
let's kill!
let's love!
8/4/2003: Subject "last night..."
... denise and
i went to feed the fish.
the park is "closed for repairs" or some shit.
we give no fukk about their posted signs and boarded-up bridges!
we're gonna feed some fukkin fish!
not only did we SEE general sherman(catfish. 3ft. long), but we also saw
ANOTHER huge catfish the same length!(probably, his girlfriend).
anywho... general sherman NEVER came to the surface for us before. on the
rare ocasions when we did see him, he would be coasting along the bottom,
beneath all the smaller fish, like a ghost. so, you, kind reader, can see
how this was such a big deal! and then... 2 top it off... we get to see a
SECOND huge catfish! they musta been super-duper-hungerfied!
oh... here's the funny part...
so a park ranger shows up. i have an open/half-full 40 of 11-11. he's all
like:"can't you read?! the parks closed!" total dork. denise immediately
springs into action:
"i'm sorry officer. i just wanted to feed the fish."
his response:"technically, i'm sposda cite any trespassers"
as soon as i heard "technically", i knew he wasn't gonna do shit.
i start walking back to the car and that's when denise REALLY lays it on
thick...
"what's your ink say?"
his response:"harley davidson"
denise:"oh... that's SO cool!"
at this point i'm laughing.
denise:"i have ink too. wanna see it?"
he just follows us back to our car and tells us to be carefull.
summary:
1.) we are tresspassing
2.) beer is prohibited in the park
3.) not only do i have beer, but it's an "open container"
4.) he let's us drive away WHILE I'M DRINKING
my point is: easy targets are easy targets.
8/3/2003: Subject "last night"
last night was
so great that it'll be hard to top but we're gonna try our
best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
VERY bold strippers + liquor + loud rap = an excel-fukking-lent
time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
8/1/2003: Subject "new comp cd"
hey everybody : )
just got back from philly with the sneak!
he's really out-done himself this time!
these new cd
comps(godzilla) are the best looking things that sloth has been
a part of.
go to www.shiftyrecords.com
and buy one!
i mean it, fukker!
a portion of the proceeds go to help children with autisim. no joke. don't
be a fukkin dick-head!
the world has enough of those already.
if you're not
gonna help children, animals or retards, kill yourself. it'll
be less work for me.
7/30/2003: Subject "PARTY GOIN' ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
denise &
i are going to some creepy strip-club down in the middle of
nowhere, this weekend!
i mean NOWHERE. corn-fields and shit!
if anybody wants to go with, let us know!
map-quest say it's a couple hours from our pad.
we got room for 3 in the back seat.
anymore? let's car-pool!
we're leaving in the afternoon.
in any event, it will definately be a memorable experience.
i'm really loving '90's instegrity, right now!
7/30/2003: Subject "finery"
is a hiding place.
i'm going swimming.
how's that for irony?
7/29/2003: Subject "i feel like..."
killing tonight.
like killing tonight.
like killing tonight.(sung to the tune of:"i feel like chicken tonight).
7/29/2003: Subject "when i was in grade school"
... i would spend
my summer vacations with my cousins.
we would spend quite a bit of our time in swimming pools.
i was very lucky to be the only boy cousin.
after we were done swimming, we would hang our swimming suits to dry.
i would sniff the crotch-area of my female cousin's suits' and masurbate to
the smell.
i have not taken a shower in 2 days, because i smell like chlorine from the
local public pool and that is giving me good dreams.
7/29/2003: Subject "recently..."
...i can't stop listening to:
dexter chumley
attack "death in small doses"(i was told they broke-up.
that's hard to believe, since they are the best punk band since h.h.i.g.).
abscess "through the cracks of death"(best shit, since eatmyfuk).
spear of longinus "nada brahma"(frost? sure. but...who cares?).
agoraphobic nosebleed
"frozen corpse stuffed with dope" ( i HATE
drum-machines but FUKK...this shit kills!).
karp "action
chemistry" (i know... he's dead... but this is their most
recent... so... that's why i listen the fukk out of it!).
nuclear death
"for our dead/all creatures great and eaten"(wow! it's still
hard to believe that a band existed with sicker production than autopsy and
better lyrics than acid bath).
autopsy "acts
of the unspeakable"(i use to think that this was their worst.
boy was i dumb.).
revenge "triumph.genocide.antichrist"(aside
from voi-vod, i never heard much
good kanadian metal. exorcist had a few good songs. slaughter was a good
frost rip-off. rush had their moments. BUT... until i heard blasphemy,
axis of advance, conqueror and revenge, i never would've guessed it!).
7/28/2003: Subject "www.derekerdman.com...."
in the men's
locker room there was some fat old guy singing to a fat naked
boy sitting on a bench.
he kept singing the words: "take off your pants" over and over again.
the
boy was already naked!
i'm not sure what type of clientel the "cleveland yacht club" caters
to. it
IS close to lakewood. or maybe it was a "nambla members get in free day".
all i know is... i'm not NEARLY as jaded as i thought i was.
in order to put
this unpleasantness behind me, we went to see "bad boys 2".
funny as fukk!!!!!!!! i know that's hard to believe, considering the first
"bad boys" sucked donkey ass.
the only thing
wrong with bb2 is: WAY too long. this film would be just as
good w/out all the unnecessary crap(chase scenes that go nowhere, gun-play
where no one gets hit, blah, blah, blah).
dialogue was
funny as fukk, though!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7/26/2003: Subject "www.derekerdman.com...."
...SAVED OUR MARRIAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WE LOVE YOU DEREK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so anywho...
today i had to calculate how many beers i drink per week for
some medical form.
it came out to 42.
before you say "that's no big deal"...
...the beer is steel reserve(8.1%) AND i kinda lied by not "factoring-in"
any other "alky-hol" i might drink during the course of the day(anything
other than 211, shit i get for free, all the gin & tonics i drink on the
weekend when i hang out with my friends that work, etc.). that shit shit
adds-up.
so it's hella more than 42.
("hella" was first used by too short not metallica and CERTAINLY
not south
park)
"one begins
to mistrust very clever people, once the very clever people are
embarrassed"
nietzsche 1885
7/26/2003: Subject "sloth t-shirt winner!!!!!!!!!"
congratulations
to fred in belgium for being the first responder with the
correct answer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
way to go little buddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
denise came in a close second!
thanks to all who participated and look for more stupid contests just like
this one in the future!
7/26/2003: Subject "free sloth shirt con-test"
the first person
to respond to this e-mail with the correct answer gets a
free sloth shirt.
you pick the size(m,l,xl).
unlike all gay contests, members of sloth can win.
name the song that the following lyrics are taken from:
"it's your
move
so play it right
sometimes you get just one chance
superstitious,
no!
if i had the time
i still wouldn't dance
save your breath
don't pray for me
pray for yourself
through time kneeling
it's the end
it snuck up quick
and took you by surprise
the waitings over"
7/23/2003: Subject "i guess..."
denice & i might REALLY be getting a divorce.
today i walked
3 miles.
i was in some seriously heavy brush. no shit. this trail was thick!!!!!!!!
i was up to my tits in it.
i started having flash-backs to 'nam.
there were 3 alligators caught in the tri-county area recently.
i had my hand on my piece the whole time.
no alligators but some SERIOUS bug-bites.
i don't think any were tick's or leeches but who knows?
i found a bug on me later that looked like a voi-vod album cover.
i almost totally freaked.
i blew it off me, before it bit me(i think).
we all gotta die someday
7/21/2003: Subject "as much as i luvs mi biere..."
... i had no
clue that you could buy it at 4:30 am in chardon ohio! i was
driving around, wasting time, thinking i wouldn't be able to buy any 'till
6am. i even killed some time rubbing one off to a porn catalog in a grocery
store parking lot. @ 4:49 a.m., i decide to see if i can purchase some.
the clerk tells me i can buy it anytime! wow! i guess i'm not the raging
alcoholic everyone thinks i am. any REAL drunk would've know the "beer
law". lesson learned: there's always room for improvement!
7/19/2003: Subject Re: "a lot of fun"
i am taking this
opportunity to preface the below statement with the
following statement: i really, really enjoy listening to grand belial's
key's new album. it has been one of my "most-listened-to-albums"
since fred
sent it to me.
that being said...
they were TERRIBLE
live. in fact, i can't remember seeing a live act that i
enjoyed less(and i've been to some pretty awful live performances). it's
really a big let-down when a band that you enjoy listening to so much could
be so lame in a live setting. i mean this shit was "battle-of-the-high
school-bands" bad.
denise and i were debating on going to lido's instead. live and learn.
however... there
were a few bright spots over the course of the evening.
before the show, we went to the shooting range and slapped a bunch of caps.
at the show, we got a whole gang of kick-ass shit to listen to.(there were
a
ton of vendors). AND last but definately not least.... WE GOT TO SEE
DENNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i know
a lot of people like to diss him, but fukk all those haters. he has TOTALLY
not changed since the day i met him! it was like stepping back into a
time-machine. this was denise's first glimpse of this surreal character.
her first question? "is he italian?"
pony-tail, sleeves rolled-up, possessed concert shirt(tucked-in).
immaculate.
oh yeah... i
almost forgot... to top-off the evening, we got, not one, but
TWO flat tires on the way home. superb!
7/15/2003: Subject Re: "swimming pools"
swimming pools
RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's ALMOST the perfect
exercise ; }
it's like 85 degrees or some shit & the water was about 10 degrees
cooler!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
awesome!!!!
i was totally alone in the pool.
2 laps into my 5 and i was totally exhausted!(and i usually walk more than
2
miles a day((liquor store and back))).
the really nice part about swimming is that you stay cool while you're
exercising!
on another topic...
the new sloth shirts are done! : )
we're picking them up tonight : )
so... if you ordered one,(hold on, i gotta flip the record(autopsy"acts
of..."),(ok, i'm back), you'll be getting your shirt soon. if you have
not
ordered one and would like one, they are $10.oo p.p. in this country $15.oo
air-mail anywhere else. sizes are medium, large and xl. they are VERY
limited and this is the first time a sloth shirt has been printed in any
size smaller than large.
have a GRRRREAT DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! : )
7/14/2003: Subject Re: "www.derekerdman.com"
just visited.
"clicked" on party photos.
who the fukk was drinking miller light and
becks???????????????????????????????
isn't miller "light"
enough???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
becks is just plain lame.
i hope whomever was drinking those beers twisted an ankle and skinned their
elbow!!!!!!!!!
i mean... FUKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... old style is availible anywhere in
chi-town!!!!!!!!!!!!!
what the fukk is wrong with those homos???????????????(and i don't mean
"homo" in the good, freddy mercury sense)!
i tried the bk veggie this weekend. marianne told me about it last week.
can u believe i actually remembered something?!?
it was definately better than their "meat" products.
however... i still would have preferred a 7-layer from t.b. across the
street.
7/11/2003: Subject Re: "fistula "party""
sloth will NOT be playing the "annual fistula party"
the 2 jawbreaker
songs + the 1 j.t.b. song that sloth planned on playing,
were deemed "too gay".
that is the reason.
7/11/2003: Subject "hey everybody!!!"
@ 5:23 a.m. 1
bird started shootin' it's mouth off. NOW, several birds + an
owl + a bunch of bugs are putting in their 2 cents! WHAT THE
FUKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i thought owls were night birds!!!!!!!!!!
anywho.....
WOMEN ARE INSANE
it's times like this that i wish i was gay.(or @ least "bi-curious").
7/7/2003: Subject "i can't believe it's not butter!"
hey everybody!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i just put another gang of worthless/valuble crap on e-bay.
7/6/2003: Subject "now, THIS is funny..."
floor. wilkensburg. "art gallery/squat house".
denise and i leave chardon @ apx 5:59pm.
we stop @ "a&w"
in orwell. delicious. i cleared 7 levels on some crazy vid
game. i was a bulky guy with an axe.
then, whilst
on r way to schlitzburg, we decide 2 stop at a fireworks
"superstore", south of youngstown. lemme tell ya... there was nothin'
"super" about their bathrooms.
still on scheduale(even
after asking a gaggle of girls who were working the
b.k. drive-in 4 directions), we arive in a wonderful town called
"wilkensburg". at first, denise was upset that i loaded a hand-gun
and
placed it in mi pocket. 1 block off the exit she was grateful.
we park.
the only booze store we found was closed.
as we are walking
back 2 the "club", i flag down a police car. i ask cop
where i can buy beer. he tells me that it's a "dry" town & if
the distro up
the road is closed, i'm s.o.l.
we walk in the
club. on our way in, 2 seperate groups of people ask if we
are floor.
no one in this
place is over the age of 18. they are all wearing
fashionable attire and have obvious piercings. (there WAS 1 cutie-pie((she
had no piercings... that i could see)).
turns-out, floor was there @ 6pm. scoped the scene and bolted 4 hot-lanta.
we would've, as well.
7/5/2003: Subject "everybody, but me, complained..."
...last month when it was cool and rainey. now it's WAY 2
hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's not even 5 am and it's ALREADY 2 hot! i really
feel bad 4 our cats. we are either going to a pool today or some place w/
a.c. i usually don't like 2 loiter just 4 a.c. but i think we might have 2.
if anyone has any suggestions, let us know.
7/4/2003: Subject "i would like..."
...2 preface
the following statement w/ this statement...
freeway is 1 of my favorite movies of ALLTIME.
that being typed...
WHO THE FUKK MADE WITHERSPOON A SEX-SYMBOL???????????????????????
certainly, not her parents!
i mean, cum-the-fukk-on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when she fell
out the ugly tree, she hit every muther-fukkin' branch on the way down. AND
she caught most of 'em with her face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
damn 'n' shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i can't remeber there being a girl with a less attractive face @ the strip
club that we were @ last night!
7/3/2003: Subject "bubba"
i FINALLY saw a bubba sparxx vid!
he is not nearly as old, fat or dishevelled as i imagined.
i was kinda disappointed.
still... excellent
vid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! not as good as "secret
party"(or some such non-sense)(it's got some dudes hosin' down some chicks
w/ a common garden-hose) they might b 4um florida. great
vid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7/3/2003: Subject "guess what?"
i guess i DID
work-out my chest correctly. now, not only do my arms hurt
but so does my chest. quite a bit, i might add. lack of sleep, due 2 torn
muscles leads me 2 my next point...
the best t.v. programming, last night, betwixt the hours of 3 & 4am was
deffinately "BET : uncut". this shit was almost better than
PORN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
also, big props 2 "trina"/"pull over" & "sean
paul"/"like glue". i like
glue 2! so did the characters in gummo.
7/2/2003: Subject "high score"
i just beat the
hell outta my old joust high-score.
i drank 3 straub's and started a milwaukee's best ice.
i was listening to darkthrone's t.v. on head-phones, so is not to wake
neecie.
for some reason i didn't think i beat my old record.
boy, was i wrong.
i worked out with craig the other day.
we did chest. my upper/outside arm muscles are in quite a bit of
discomfort.
i guess i did the exercises wrong.
neecie and i went to the park last night to feed the fish some
hard-as-a-rock bread.
the fish didn't seem to mind that it was stale.
fukk! it's 4:23 a.m. i'm sober, wide awake, and my arm muscles hurt.
i wish i didn't beat my old record this fast! they don't start selling
'till 6a.m. and all i have left is m.b. ice. i would read some more of sex,
murder, art but i like 2 take that no more than 2 pages @ a clip. i have a
very short attention-span.
did anybody watch 2sday-night fights? it was really good. it was aired
from niles, ohio and there was a lot of local talent on the card. watch out
for pavlik. he's pretty impresive and will probably take the middle-weight
belt before 2 long.
6/30/2003: Subject "videos"
mi parents r @ sum class reunion or sum shit.
i'm "watching" their cats.
they have cable.
i'm watching videos.
fity cent looks like a happy tyson.
i did not picture that.
met's st. a is a great vid.
i never need 2 see cash's recent vid. again. kinda like c.t.h.d.
beyonce is fukking hot.
fukk those moves and those bangs. just sit there.
T.A.T.U.=gOD
PERFORMANCE. 2003 award show. FUKK! what a bunch of uptight
losers in THAT audience.
i LOVE that song "wake me up" by that 1 band.
pero, the vid is SO lame!
the broad-singer sounds WAY hotter than she is.
the dude-singer is, at the very least, lame.
6/30/2003: Subject "hey everybody..."
this address
is working again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i really don't know why it wasn't be4. oh well, who cares!
sloth recorded some more stuff yesterday : )
you'll have 2 hear it 2 believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
have a great day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
remember... it's 4th of july week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
plenty of free explosions 2 look @!
6/29/2003: Subject "last night"
...was a fukking
BLAST (literally)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! big
props to corey, bahb, sneak and all the cats at the fistula farm house.
chinese ak's, .25 caliber automatics, a quarter stick of dynamite + steel
reserve lager = good
times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! denise
and i had such a great time that, afterwards, we celebrated by spending our
last $26.oo on lap dances at lido's. dave would've loved THIS
place!!!!!!!!!!!! "thick chicks" as far as the eye could
see!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6/28/2003: Subject "ca2"
usually, i don't
walk out of a movie(espescially 1 i pay 4).... but DAMN
'n' shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i mean mi tolerance 4 having mi intelligence
insulted is usually @ a stronger level. the previews 4 other films were
better and even THOSE sucked. so why sit through visual/audio garbage when
hong-to is right across the street? if u r into veggie egg-foo-young they
make it real good. they even serve it smothered in that war-su gravy. now
that's what i'm talkin' 'bout!
p.s. everything before the "film" was excellente!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it was
nice 2 c jeff again : ) a lot of people think he looks like conan o'brien
but i still stick with the guy who played henry in "portrait".
6/28/2003: Subject "what the fukk???????????????"
hey all yall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this is my new address!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sneak: what time??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
6/25/2003: Subject "phew, lucky"
everybody can
make their own luck. that being said, i'll take any extra
positive fortune anytime
>From: "Craig Rowe" <craig@growthorchard.com>
>Reply-To: <craig@growthorchard.com>
>To: <ubersloth@hotmail.com>
>Subject: phew, lucky
>Date: Tue, 24 Jun 2003 17:18:07 -0400
>
>Consider it your lucky day. After you left, a big branch from one of
>our trees broke off and landed where you were parked. I heard it
>crack from inside. That would have blown immensely.
>
6/21/2003: Subject "cleveland"
is about 2 blow
the fukk up. for real. 2day was the 1st time i ever saw
lebron skill. he will change our cities skyline.
6/21/2003: Subject "the sun"
is comming around.
i'm going 2 sleep.
i have watched/listened to "king of new york" 3x.
i love you all
6/21/2003: Subject "taco bell"
am i wrong?
taco bell IS more expensive.
i bought 1 7 layer last night. it was MORE than $1.
didn't they use 2 b 89 cent or some shit?
is not white castle the same price that they've always been?
ANYWHO...
looks like we might have a lead 4 rams season.
AND... it's not someone on this mailing list. WOW!
there should b a ramen restaurant. all it would serve would be ramen. all
kinds o flavas. you could pick how much "soup" u want. i prefer
no liquid.
i just like the noodles 2 b all moist n shit. anyone reading this can run
with this idea. just gimme some kinda pass where i can eat @ the place 4
free. FUKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! now i'm hungry 4 ramen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm'a go buy ass a gang of it
2day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6/20/2003: Subject "hey y'all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
chekk e-gay.
"CLICK" on sloth &/or peta.
it IS goin' down
4 real
6/19/2003: Subject "funny, funny story ... +1"
i have had ink
4 more than 1 decade.
i was OVERHEATED 2day, from walking.
mi padre calls & aks me 2 drop something off.
mi madre answers the door.
i am wearing a "tank-top".
she sees the ink.
she is upset.
if she did not come to her home tipsy from a sports-bar where she was thorwn
a semi-retirement party, it could have been a real ugly situation.
ALSO...
as charismatic as i am(please don't listen 2 kiss) i can't find a new
"sexy-girl" room-mate. i am glad.
6/19/2003: Subject "hello every one"
the police r on their way.
denise mote it b.
i called the cops.
denise's family has a history of beauty&mental illness.
if anything goes wrong, refer 2 billy jack, king of n.y. AND crouching tiger
THIS is the truth:
never lie
always b posi
i love you ALL
if u r more in2
music than film...
refer 2 lil' kim
6/19/2003: Subject "noyfb"
does anyone have richard ramos' current add?
the sloth side of the split is done
6/19/2003: Subject "neecie"
denise filed
4 divorce yesterday.
i love her and miss her
i can't force her or anyone else 2 see the truth.
i can only present it.
after that, it is then up to them
i can't stand being alone
if anyone knows of any sexy ladies(age 18 to 40) who need a place 2 stay,
let me know.
requirements:
they can't have a boyfriend
they have 2 be honest w/ me at all times
they have 2 pay their share
sex is NOT required.
6/18/2003: Subject "love"
i love you, all
2 much shit goin' on right now 2 talk about.
have NO fear... if you r receiving this... have no fear.
so much love to give
so very little time
i love you
6/18/2003: Subject (none)
IF..........................
anything, anywhere
@ anytime/place has a ? with regards 2 my
beliefs(poss)...........
all the answers are in 3 films
b.j.
k.o.n.y.
c.t.h.d.
failing that...
the answer you seek is in any mirror you face
6/18/2003: Subject "e-bay"
hey everybody:)
i just put up a whole GANG of shit on e-bay!!
i believe the prices are WAY 2 reasonable! hook-up if you want!
search music under hemdale. then click on view seller's other items.
love you all
6/17/2003: Subject "last night..."
WAS A FUKKING
BLAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we met derek in streetsboro and went 2 one of the fanciest bars in
town!(they didn't sell beer in pitchers)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WONDERFUL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's been WAY 2 long!(over 6 years at the very least)
anywho... he was thinking about putting the new sloth on
FLEXI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
note:IF ANYONE ELSE HAD THIS IDEA, U CAN STILL DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
remember:U ALL CAN DO IT, HOWEVER U WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!
stay positive and we can all win this game
love 2 all
6/15/2003: Subject "GREAT NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
HEY EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GREAT
NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DEREK ERDMAN OF ASSWHOLE WEEKLY, BEAUTY PAGEANT, THE FUTURE COBRAS, KATHY
MCGINTY, GARY INDIANA ETC., ETC., ETC., WILL BE IN KUNT
SUNDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I STRONGLY ENCOURAGE THAT YOU ALL COME WITH US TO MEET HIM FOR BEERS AND
GRUB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HE IS
AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WE HAVE ROOM FOR US + 3, IN OUR CAR. THE REST, WE CAN CAR-POOL THE WAY
DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WE ARE PLANNING ON MEETING AT EL CAMPISINO. IT'S A BAR/RESTAURANT AND
THEIR FRIED EGGS ARE THE
SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DOS HUEVOES, POR
FAVOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WE'LL
PLAN ON LATE AFTERNOON, AT THE
EARLIEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LET US
KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6/15/2003: Subject " i love you"
dave recorded
some new sloth sounds yesterday.
these sounds are incredibly beautiful, due to his effort, denise's effort,
mike's effort, craig's effort and marrianne's effort. everyone on this list
has an open invitation to release this material whenever and however they
wish. they may make or lose as much money as they wish. sloth asks for
nothing in return.
i apologize to dave. i had 2 crazy-ass energy drinks and a whole gang of
"high gravity lager". he went WAY above the call of duty(this will
be
blindingly apparent to even the most jaded listener). he mentioned to me
that he was tired and needed some sugar. at this point i had already eaten
all his doughnuts. his, denise's, and marianne's exhaustion(they were all
yawning by the end)... combined with my "bouncing-off-the-wall-ness"
&
ignorance may have ruined one of the most wonderful relationships that i
have ever had the pleasure of experiencing. i desire his forgiveness.
sneak? where were you? we all REALLY missed you.
i love you all
6/13/2003: Subject "hey all y'all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)"
much, much love 2 all y'all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)
we're having some prob's w/ r hotmail.
marianne is already solving them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)
more info 2 come.
p.s. neecie just
bought me a copy of lil kim's "notorious". she is not at
ALL what i expected her 2 look
like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! let me
pre-face the following statement w/ this statement:"i would eat her shit.
i
would die for her. she IS the incarnation of god. obey her. she is
nothing but love. believe it."
now... as 4 the superficial level... WAY 2
skinney!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also... her face is not
attractive 2 ME!!!!!!!!!! i believe the couch that she is laying upon is
WAY more attractive.
BUT..................................
if i had 2
choose............................................ of course it's gonna b
her. but u knew that answer b4 the ? was even presented.
much love 2 everyone
6/13/2003: Subject "me AGAIN!:)"
we don't have cable.
ram's football is creepin' all up on us.
we don't want cable.
here is the SWEET deal:
if u have a sat.
dish AND don't mind seeing us every ram's game, we will
TOTALLY HOOK YOU
UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WE will pay 4
YOUR nfl sun. tik! WE will provide food AND booze 4
ALL!(within reason aka don't be invitin' some fukkin' "free-party-leeches").
i am a ram's fan.
i am not the same person i was b4 i died.
i will not put my foot through your tv, if warner starts.
HOWEVER... u
WILL hear a GANG of cuss words. so if u gots childrens, u
might wanna think this offer over at least a couple times.
first cum, 1st served/serviced.
love to all of you
6/13/2003: Subject "OH, MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
JUST GOT THE
WEDDING
PHOTOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MINT, MINT, MINT
JULIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'll get doubles 4 y'all, next pay-period.
I LOVE YOU
6/12/2003: Subject "help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i really, really
need everyones help on this. all of u resond.
i need everyone's effort.
6/12/2003: Subject "last night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
WAS A BLAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THANK U ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GOT TO MEET MARK K'S "EX"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SHE IS
HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALMOST AS HOT AS HER SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FLOOR!!!! KERI-OKEE
STYLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SNEAK... WE MISSED
U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NEANDERTHAL SAYS
HI:)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I GOT MI PIC TAKEN W/ 4 SEXY, SEXY LADIES(OH SO
CALINTE)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE YOU
ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IT'S ABOUT 2 BLOW
UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6/11/2003: Subject "I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
4 2night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we gonna get
our paty
ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
if there is such
a thing as "spontaneous-combustion", i'll prove it
tonight!!!!!!
what with bein'
surrounded by so many beautiful girls 'n'
all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DAMN! 'N' SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6/11/2003: Subject "another "krazy" theory"
there is a group
called "good charlotte",(i think thats what they are
called).
i really like the 2 songs i've heard by them.
the latest one is a complete cross betwixt gary newman's "in cars"
and cheap
trick's"they just seem a little wierd". does anyone reading this
know what
the influences 4 those 2 songs r?
6/10/2003: Subject "no joke"
today, at marc's
i received a back massage from THE COUNCIL WOMAN UV
CHARDON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it felt great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have not been 2 the practer
in over a month and she hit the spot! vic's jaw was on the floor. everyone
else was wierded out, as well. i told lana and she's similar 2:"oh yeah...
she's like that.". WHAT'S
UP!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? 4 real though.
anywho...
the demons r smaller, less in quantity but @LEAST 2wice as strong. when i
first thought about it, i thought there were many & big. thats how much
fear i had. the 1 i remember most vividly had a long, bald baby's head. it
was only that & 2 hands. it came out of the sewer-hole in my spine. i
defeated it, like all the others. but... i was FUKKING/HELLA
scared!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love that "pop the trunk" jam but DOg-DAMN!
he's either a liar or innocent of my visions.
soooo.............................................
that should explain any
and all insulting e-mail's all y'all may have received. but i'm not 4 sure
i actually ever sent any. that's how strong they are. they are not a joke.
they are real. they will send another wave. a stronger, smaller wave.
maybe, just 1. i will dispatch it/them, just as equally.
my will can not be broken.
i never REALLY understood that line from kanobi, 'till now.
vegitarians r
the biggest middle finger in the face of our creator(if it
still/ever exist(s)ed). just like aids. just like cancer. a, supposedly,
insignificant(due 2 it's make-up), organism that is capable of destroying
it's, multi-celled, much larger(ratio), creator. i've typed creator 2wice.
but... guess what i'm listening 2. first person 2 send me the korect ans.
gets a whole gang of FREE sloth shit!!!!!!!!!!
ask me about mi theory on bunnies. it ties in w/ my veggie theory.
i love you all.
6/9/2003: Subject "re: what's up with you?"
fukk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
straight through
the heart, es mi
favorito!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6/9/2003: Subject "i can't stop"
o.k.
so...
2day was sposed
2 b '80's thrash metal(vinyl)day. i got through 1/4 of
t.d.n.h. by d.a. + all of d.d. and possessed's "through...".
all uv b.f.'s "who's..." + some of sep's "morbid".
i had 2 put the brakes on "theme-day".
i listened to kim TWICE before "theme-day"!!!!!!!!!
and now
AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6/9/2003: Subject "b.j."
i am not a hippie.
i am not p.c.
but... most importante...
i am not a pacifist.
that being said..... watch "billy jack". then, watch it again. AND
then
again!
DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6/9/2003: Subject "write"
because, i couldn't
talk.
because, lana told me.
because, d.j. told her.
because, i tried 2 make people laugh.
because, i said over the intercom @ (not really)work:"attention, all
marc's
employees... saftey goggles are 2 for .99. they are located in isle 1".
because, i told some co-workers they might wanna hook-up on some
safty-goggles.
because, i told some co-workers that when joe l. walks in, i'm gonna do a
reverse leg-sweep on his ass. then... get him in a head-lock. then whisper
in his ear:"you're gonna sign that paper, giving me a raise. if you don't,
i'm gonna rap your fukkin' head in with this fukkin price-gun(j.b.). if you
sign it, i'm a let you up & not peep. then, i told everyone that if he
agreed and i let him up but if he still felt froggy, i was gunna go 2 the
beer isle, grab my ass a bottle uv bud & do him up just like fity cent
told
me 2. then, i'm a sue fity, 'cause rap is a nega influence and i'm just
doin' like mnm said.(back in the saddle is mi favorito uv theirs).((find the
Asymitry in the previous statemant and u get a whole herd of free sloth
shit.)) and then A GANG uv innocent blood(pitts.) is gonna get spilled.
'cause i woulda went & gone done started up a whole new rap war.
THAT'S
WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pee-s. when i
ran this theory past vic, he said that when i had joe down
AND if he declined my offer, before i rapped his head in(j.b.) he would send
him to the dutch-oven.(funny fukkin kid((and he's like 16 or some shit))).
pee-pee s. i
re-learned that because uv shit that accumulates on people,
due 2 other people, u can have the best intentions & still get people
in
trouble with other people.
6/8/2003: Subject "nemisis(will deth cleanz mi uv this)"
saw nemisis 2
night. x-l-ent film. un42nately, it was/is a cumpleet
ripp-off of star wars, conan, blade ii & kannon b.-run. stihl enjoyed
all
the (supposedly)inside jokes.
BIG-ASS KISSES
2 the sneak 4 the hook-up on the
bbq!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
things keep on going great! i can't believe it!?!
u make your own breaks.
6/8/2003: Subject " last night:}!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i just want everyone
to know that last night/this morning was THE best time
that i have ever had in my ENTIRE fukking
life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(so far:})
you ever watch
"scarface"? i always wondered how it would feel to live that
one scene where he gets hitched and the blimp reads "the world is yours".
now i know. i can die today but i wanna try and top last night! i just
started to cry happy tears:) but i stopped myself.
craig KNOWS how
to throw fukking
PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EVERYTHING was
aces!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and THAT was
just the
JUMP-OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i lost my wallet,
my keys and ripped a 20 dollar bill in half. guess what.
it don't matter. THATS how great last night was!
we took a GANG
of pictures! i'm gonna get with the sneak tonight, about
figuring out a way to try and e-mail 'em 2 all y'all.
thanks again
2 EVERYONE! since 4:45 yesterday, i got apx 20 mins of sleep,
MAYBE! that's exactly how hot-wired i am!
love you!
keep it
real!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6/7/2003: Subject " slayer/axis of advance"
REVELATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fukk, i love mi dupa some maiden!
anywho...
my point is...
axis is on the same path as slayer.
However.....................................
slayer is 2 far gone.
axis can change paths.
it's not 2 late 4 them.
right now they r "s.o.h." slayer.
they can stop.
AND get back to life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6/7/2003: Subject "4:30am, on a saturday in chardon ohio."
dairy mart's open. thats it.
lately i've been
drinking a lot of gatorade. they have all kinds of
krazy-ass flavors. i mix 'em w/ 2 parts water. makes 'em last longer.
yesterday, i
was informed, shlitz bull ICE has been discontinued. that
totally bummed me out. so...if anybody out there finds any on the shelves
of any conveinience stores that you happen to frequent, buy them ALL and
send them to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i will totally hook u
up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yesterday, tiff
wrapped my "trouble zone" in plastic wrap 4 my walk home.
she did it in the produce cooler. bad andy walked in on us and in his best
hank hill voice, said "what the hell, bobby". i'm trying to get
into an old
suit and the plastic wrap technique really does work. i went down 2 notches
in my belt size.
well... i go potty now.
6/7/2003: Subject "i wish girls..."
...would stop calling me a "retard".
yesterday was the second day in a row that a girl called me a "retard".
thursday i was
running around the store like a lunatic. i would ask my
co-workers a question.
when they began to respond, i would tag them w/ my price gun. i got almost
all of 'em. when i pulled this stunt on the girl in pharmacy, she sort-of
laughed and said:"you're such a retard".
THEN... last
night i'm "outside for carts" w/ derrick(he got sent home 4
saying the word "fuck" 2 many times in front of customers((he, pretty
much,
rules))). anywho... i'm on the side of the building and i'm just slinging
shopping carts all over the place. that's when i notice a whole gang of
young cunt headed straight 4 me. 1 of the carts i was slinging around
tipped and crashed into a bunch of other carts. thats when, the 1 i call
"little miss sassy-pants", calls me a retard. she's MAYBE 14 and
trying to
be as punk-rawk as she can, considering she lives in chardon.
ANYWHO... my
response to both was:"HEY!!! that's an insult to special
people everywhere!" their response? not a god damned peep. flawless
victory.
i was/still am sexually attracted to both girls.
6/6/2003: Subject "tiff, AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
she wore her hair down again, today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that's 2 days in a row!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
today it was
straight(i think she used a "straightening-iron"((whatever the
fukk that is!)))!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i like her hair better, when it's down and wavey.
she was depressed
today which made me sad too. she has A GANG of haters, as
do i. so sad(same old song and dance).
if you dislike someone who has never done you any wrong, look in a mirror.
i'm not some p.c., pacafist, hippy.
there is right
& wrong, in existence!
it is, as different as black & white.
there is no "grey area".
if you think there is, you have not analyzed the situation enough.
big props to
b. of bone awl.
if you like "lust 4 fire" AND think that recent dark throne recordings
should be the most overstocked release at your local mall, check out "bone
awl"!
cobra splits are almost ready to ship!
6/5/2003: Subject "pee s"
the "lock-groove"
@ the end uv a.l.c. is VERY soothing. way, more so, than
any episode of martha stewart on mute with dream long dead by g.flesh
blazing on "repeat". fukk all m.s.
haters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
she's like 60+ or some shit AND i'ld still lick the fukk out of her
pussy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
if i ever met her... AND she asked me to lay on my back, open my mouth and
receive her sacrament... i would!
i bet martha
and i would win "am idol" whoops... i meant "star search"
whoops... i meant "the gong show".
stop it.
6/5/2003: Subject "do you want to be rich/famous"
if so.......
all you have to do is listen to a.l.c. by prince. then write a song.
it would help if you are a fan of type-ohhhhhhh-nega-core.
you'll totally
score w/ a mob of
goth-chicks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HEY, SETTLE
DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
loser's can't be choosers.
6/5/2003: Subject "tiff"
i've worked next
to tiff 4 a couple of months now. she was always cute, to
me. she's always smiling and laughing.
today was the first time she wore her hair down. ouch! she was quite a
distraction. and a rare one at that, considering blondes are my least
favorite eye-candy.
we talked about sex 4 a while and i got a boner. in order to hide it, i had
to lean into one of the produce bins. then she introduces me to her mom.
she was shopping. she looked too young to be her mom and i didn't see any
family resemblence. she looked like b. quarters(wkrp in cincy((even had the
specs!))). i told her that her daughter is "awesome". she responded
"she
is, now". tiff said she used to be a prob. i said we all were at some
point.
just got the
brotherhood lp. i want to listen to it but i can't get lil'
kim out my sound systems. damn! i don't see this love 4 the new queen bee
cd fizzling anytime soon.
6/4/2003:
just like everything, there is a ton of crap, on the internet.
if you want to
be entertained... check:
www.derekerdman.com
& www.sethputnam.com
6/4/2003:
i work with this
kid named vic. he works produce. he had me laughing so
hard today, i couldn't breath good. here it is: there's this old lady that
frequents our produce section. she is old, short and fat. she's also very
friendly. she wears a babushka. total dp. she has a pet monkey. she
always tells vic about the monkey. today, vic asked her if her monkey still
stands up in front of her tv. she said yes. so then he asks her if she
spanks it when it does that. i immediately go into a hysterical laughing
fit. he's got a straight face and she has no clue. she responds "yes".
so
THEN he asks her if it spits at her, when she spanks it. at this point, i
cant breath and am doubled over in the watermelon crate. she STILL has no
clue, he STILL has a straight face and i'm laughing so hard that i can't see
straight. SHE ANSWERED
"YES"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
anywho... anyone
who's gonna be at the studio next week is super-strongly
encouraged to bring any and every bizarre-ass instrument they have access
to. fiddles, harmonicas, children's toys etc.
i beated-off
today twice, within 45 mins. that's the closest i've gotten to
my old record which i set when i was 13.
6/3/2003:
i put some crap on e-gay.
it's a REALLY good deal, for garbage of this quality.
a.k.a.: i need
booze money.
6/3/2003:
if you can withstand
the first hour of blade 2, you will be SO
rewarded........
i almost believe,
the first half was intentionally "piss-poor", in order to
set up the counter-punch that is the 2nd half of the film.
why is "j-lo"
so pop when the bitch from blade 2 is apx a god zillion times
hotter!?!?! es muy caliente'.
also... in the film, her weapons are 2 "scorpio" machine-pistols.
they are
very desireable to me. they were the side-arm, for chek tank-commanders, way
back in the day. i have not seen them at any gun show in years. you have
to shoot from the shoulder. they have a hot eject. so... no hip action...
unless you want blisters on your face.
also matrix 2
was not "deep". nor, was it "heavy". any person that was/is
not a zombie could figure it out in 5 quick seconds.
6/3/2003:
i will try to
finish watching "blade 2" tonight. this will be the 3rd time.
that, probably, tells you something, right there! so far, this is the
worst kung-fu acting i've ever seen! WAY worse than matrix 2(at least, the
computer shit in that looked decent). i mean this shit is "bruce lee
bad".
have you watched any bruce lee films recently? he was TERRIBLE!!! he made
norris seem skilled. i used to ask people, "who would win, if tyson fought
bruce lee?". now, the answer is crystal. i mean... FUKK!!!!!!!! tyson
would even whoop bruce lee's ghost. and bruce lee would have that
"super-natural" shit goin' on.
6/3/2003:
why are tear-gas pistols illegal in ohio?
seriously.
i wanna know.
6/2/2003:
dude!
this is the best-looking
sloth "packaging" EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!(so far)!!!!((i
probably shoud've typed, "thus far")).?.?.
anywho.... GREAT
JOB!!!!!!!!!!!! but....... WHAT HAPPENED TO THE
BOOK?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
if you only lost
interest, i understand. otherwise, i would like an
explanation.
still bros,
dom
6/2/2003:
hey, hey!!!!
just got the covers for the cobra split!!!!!!!
ACE JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thanks again to derek & the sneak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i also received
the "november..." morrissey 7 i won on e-bay. plays great!
if any of you see any auctions by "julie kite"... she is a trust-worthy
bird.
hopefully, my
better-half & i will be winning the state lotto on wednesday.
then, you all, will be hooked-up.
happy monday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(it
makes
friday feel sooooooooo much better!)!!!!!
6/1/2003:
pee-s: i forgot to mention...
SHLITZ BULL
ICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
8.2%
$0.99 per 24 oz. can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
STRONGER than
211. WAY, WAY smoother than
211!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hook-up, while you can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this shit's so
good, i'm having flash-backs to
cool-colt-menthal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6/1/2003:
damn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3 weeks later and i still can't get lil kim out my cd
player!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
floor's new vinyl is in HEAVY rotation as well!
we saw x-men
2 last night. good stuff. still the only good film series
adaption of a comic. can't wait to see the punisher remake! i hope they
got dolph again!
i don't know
what the weather is like where you all are... but, if it's
anything like the weather we got up in n.e. ohio... ENJOY
IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
much love and respect to you & yours.
i wish you all, everything you want.
5/30/03:
it's about time you did a new record review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the stuff that i know that you know, i agree with your reviews about.
i would REALLY, REALLY get-off on you reviewing "la bella mafia".
there is one
segment that brings the whole piece down. you can't fault 'em,
though.
i love my ass some geto boys, as well.
so..........
what about a "request section" 4 your
site??????????????????????????
5/30/03:
i believe that you are WAY 2 smart to be mean.
pee-s. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR INTERVIEW SECTION?????????????????????????????
DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I ENJOYED THAT
SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5/30/03:
floor.
self-titled.
it's on "no-idea".
much, much love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
even more
respect!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
get the vinyl
version!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5/30/03:
i can't stop litening to "la bella mafia".
i loved "r.i.b.",
"nevermind", "rage for order", "years of decay",
"creepin'
on a...", g. boys self-titled(def) "second heat" & etc.,
BUT..... even
though those albums made the hair stand up on the back of my neck..... i
have never been as (in/a) ffected as i am right now by ms. white.
5/29/03:
"la bella
mafia" is better than "r.i.b.", "nevermind", "geto
boys" AND
"desolation blvd.".
5/29/03:
she is ALL-THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5/28/03:
you were/are a p.a.o.y.t.(pimp ahead of your time) trying w/ the cognac.
she was a hottie.
she was in "hooter"-style shorts, bouncing a b-ball down
the side walk. she just finished playing up at that old-ass holiday-inn
that they turned into a dorm.
knowing what
i know now... i probably would've been smoother and got in them
drawers without the "k.o.".
although... i
do find getting in girl's drawers w/ the k.o. extremely
interesting!
5/28/03:
no... if it was
HER 1st time, SHE would've figgured that SHE wouldn't get
preggers.
i used to live,
in the basement, of the house down the street from
mama-joes. i lived w/pat & the chan uv boulder. there was a red light-bulb
4 a porch light. one day, a "hottie" was walking home past the porch.
i
offered her a b.v./dairymans lemonade mix. she accepted. i didn't score.
5/22/03:
"there will
be no money. but, when you die... on your death-bed... you will
receive, total conciousness".
i give no fukk about rubber stamps. you can leave our side blank.
dag nasty,
dom
p.s. i do like
my ass some r. kelly.
p.p.s. why is white-people music so boring?
5/22/03:
lil" kim's
newest piece totally stomps "nevermind". "r.i.b." + "rage
4
order".
trust me...
i give much love & respect to you and yours.
when i get the
tests, 1 will go out to you
POST-HASTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!