To my fans, friends and family:

As you know, the charges recently directed at me are terribly serious. They are, however, predicated on a big lie. This will be shown in court, and we will be able to put this horrible time behind us. It's true that I attempt to hump everything in sight.

Because the charges are so serious, I hope you all will understand, on the advice of my attorneys, I will be limited in what I can say about the humping situation. There will be times when I cannot comment at all. No doubt, this will be frustrating for all of us. As frustrating as not being able to hump everything all of the time, even though I look like a weird cat-animal creature.

For that reason, I have set up this website to serve as a source of official communications on my case and store pornography files as well as Creed lyrics. Any statement that does not appear on this website must be considered unauthorized. I like to hump stuff.

You are right to be skeptical of some of the individuals who are being identified in the mass media as my friends, spokespeople, and attorneys. With few exceptions, most of them are simply humping a desperate void in our culture that equates visibility with insight. We will not engage in speculation. I am the fucking ruler of the universe! We will not provide running commentary on every new development or allegation du jour. We intend to try our case in the courtroom, not in the public or the media.

Why did I go to the department store? I heard they had children's pants half off.

What do I have in common with a Big Mac? We're both a 45 year old piece of meat inbetween 11 year old buns with special sauce.

I thank you all for your support and understanding. Fuck a Latoya.

God bless you,

Michael Jackson

November 20, 2003  Statement After Processing in Santa Barbara

November 19, 2003  Reaction to District Attorney's News Conference

November 18, 2003  Reaction to Search of Neverland