Pilsen Art Yolk 2004: 22 Really Long Hours.

 

SWEET VIDEO SECTION:

"The Clicker" - Child makes clicking noise with his mouth.

"Keats & Bacon" - Cat eats bacon with choice soundtrack: The Fall's Marquis Cha-Cha. Timed perfectly, dude.

"Pants #1" - It's me, reading a newspaper. Video courtesy Elisa Ambrogio spy-cam (jerk).

"Dave Piper Drunkenly Tackles The Shit Out Of Me" - Listening to Darkthrone, 4am - AWESOME.

"Time Wizard Practicing Magik" - Actually, this is just some weird guy preparing to do drugs.

"Yollering Girls" - Julia, Mo & Dahna fully whooping it up, because we were totally partying hard. Sweet footage by Elisa.

"Loyd's Of London!" - This is my favorite video of all time. Watch it on repeat, it's a real gut buster.

Bernhard Gal, Chao-Ming Tung, Gene Coleman & Ensemble Noamnesia - Sunday 10/3 #1

Bernhard Gal, Chao-Ming Tung, Gene Coleman & Ensemble Noamnesia - Sunday 10/3 #2

 

Weekend Breakdown by Derek Erdman:

Dude. Art is so awesome.

I spent most of Friday moving things from my living room and bathroom. The last time I left things in my bathroom and had a party, everything ended up in the bathtub and somebody peed all over it. Later Elisa & I tried to rent a helium tank from Card & Party Warehouse on Fullerton, which was really great because it took 45 minutes to get to the point where I actually get the tank. Then I was told that they were all reserved, so I could either purchase a more expensive tank or get two smaller ones. I said I'd prefer my money back to which the manager replied, "feel free to call to see if we have tanks in stock next time." The only thing I could muster was, "Feel free to tell me that you don't have tanks before making me wait so long while you teach Candace how to fill out paper work." Otherwise I restrained myself because she was totally gross and her life was already a major bummer. Also, I'd stolen 4 Snickers bars while they were looking for the proper tank valve. Then we went to Sam's Beer & Wine Palace and got two kegs of Old Style loaded into the car in less than 15 minutes. Dude, fucking alright!

After arriving home, I spent some time on the floor reading The Reader. Elisa took some videos of me with my hands down my pants and some pictures of Keats. Also, we carried the first keg up the stairs. I wrangled help from a neighbor for the second one. Then I took a shower and cut up some cucumbers.

People started coming over at 6pm. A lot of people came because of the picture in The Reader. I shook a lot of people's hands. I told one guy that I paint mainly with a mixture of my blood and semen. I told a couple of older people that I was simply the curator of the space and that the artist was actually a 6 year old child. Later I quoted a price of $325 for a painting to a guy, only to sell it 30 seconds later to somebody else for $40. When the first guy angrily asked why he had gotten a different price, I simply told him, "because I don't like your tone." Oh, wow. Maud & Andy the teenagers came over and hung out and drank some beer. Drinking with teenagers rules. Also, somebody traded two paintings from a mis-placed catering order or sushi which we all ate the living heck out of. Have you ever had steak wrapped in bacon? Man, that stuff is good.

People started showing up for the party much later. It rained a lot and people got wet. I thought Podmajersky would have erected some sort of protective art tent, but it didn't happen. A lot of people came over and drank beer and told me how awesome I was. Andy the teenager smoked a lot of cigarettes. Also, the usher from Sox Park was there and also some German people. Dena from work came, but I was really drunk by that point. We were supposed to go to The Mutiny tonight and drink cheap beer, but I had to help Elisa move, so we didn't.

Julia had on a sweet dress. Nick Calingaert came by. John Brearley played a bunch of records. Betty thought she lost her camera. I made my favorite video of all time. After the beer was gone, people left. I hung out mostly on the floor. Heidi told me some scary stories about being a masseuse. Also, I broke my finger and some girls got in a fistfight outside. There were 120 people in my apartment at one time, I sold 22 paintings and didn't puke. Dave, Betty, Elisa, John & I cleaned up and listened to Darkthrone at full blast. Later after I mopped 4 times Elisa and I ate a potpie and went to sleep.

I woke up on saturday around 10am and mopped again. Then Elisa and I went to the grocery store and bought a bunch of breakfast food. John & Betty came over and we ate a lot of bacon and hung out with families and old people. My house smelled like bacon, bleach and cigarette smoke. I told a child that I get inspiration by channelling the spirit of Dave Thomas from Wendy's. Later I told some guy a painting was $120 only to give it away 5 minutes later. When the first guy angrily asked why I just gave it away when he had offered to buy it, I told him "I'm pretty sure I have no idea what you're talking about." He stormed out and we called him a "mean old goat". He came back later with his wife and we all sat silently and didn't say anything. When they asked if they could purchase a coloring book, I simply said, "THERE'S NOTHING HERE FOR SALE!". Then they left, for good. Boomer & Angela stopped by. Their baby crawled around in broken glass for awhile. I sold 31 paintings and ate 6 candy bars. Later we went to a bonfire going away party for Drew Wilson. We didn't stay long, but I stole an Exploited tape and then we drove around trying to find where the hookers hang out. We thought about throwing some eggs, but we didn't. Then Elisa and I went home and watched Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.

Sunday was all pretty similar. We ate food with bacon and I cut up vegetables and we all smoked a lot of cigarettes. Julia hung out a lot longer and sold stuff at a 10% commission.. Also, we watched some movies and talked to people. Some people came by to pick up the stuff that they bought on Friday. I wrote funny things on the back of paintings like, "I'll see you and this art in hell!" and "Your money will go towards pizza!". I sold 22 paintings and then I packed up and went to Geoff's house for a sweet meating. I ate a fish taco, beer cooked bratwurst, plenty chicken and asparagus that made my pee stink. Then Elisa and I went to Hyde Park to watch Bernhard Gal, Chao-Ming Tung, Gene Coleman & Ensemble Noamnesia perform as part of Sound Field 2004. And then I went to bed and watched Meet The Partents starring Ben Stiller.

This is my last Pilsen Art Walk. I'm going to move in March. i still like a lot of people in my neighborhood, but I also dislike a lot of people in my neighborhood, as well.

Also, I have a two minute video of Jim Newberry talking to a choice Germany lady. If anybody wants to see it, let me know.