Everybody loves the Pitchfork Music Festival. Each years gazillions of goons descend upon
Chicago's Union Park wearing Joy Division shirts. They all want to see music float into the air
and eat soy ice cream. A lot of them look at the other people there and think: I AM NOT LIKE
THAT PERSON, but indeed that is probably not the case.

Here is Sally & Sheila manning the table full of things to buy. It was so hot everyday, but we separated
the teens from their money with ease. Money was everywhere! It was money mountain!

EEKS, it is Jake Austen & Sarah Sandusky! She's from MPLS and she was the best person that I met at this
music festival. OH, there were a number of errors regarding the line-up of bands for the weekend,
so I made a list of the correct bands and the times that they played FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE.

Friday July 16 (gates at 3 p.m.):
3:30 Blitz (Featuring Cock Sparrer) (a)
4:00 Trisuits (c)
4:35 DRI (a)
5:30 DI (c)
5:45 The Exploited (“Big” John Duncan Only) (b)
6:25 Everclear (a)
6:30 Everclear (b)
7:15 Moms Mabley's Dour Hour (b)
7:20 Broken Social Scene & The Jabbers (c)
8:00 Pigmeat Markham (b)
8:30 Of Montreal STD Revue (a)

Saturday July 17 (gates at 12 p.m.):
1:00 Rappin' 4 Tay (Featuring Sammy Hagar) (a)
1:00 Der Blutharsch (kazoos only) (b)
1:45 Oklahoma Joe (c)
1:55 Arthur Bryant (b)
2:30 Your Cousin Marvin Berry (a)
2:50 Some Girl In A Dress (b)
3:20 Hot Hot Heat Chip (c)
3:45 Everclear (b)
4:15 GISM (Featuring Lip Cream) (a)
4:45 Crime Desire (b)
5:15 Barely Bearz (c)
5:45 Wrestlemania 2 (1986) (b)
6:15 Bear Parade (a)
6:45 Bear Pants (b)
7:25 Tumble Bear (c)
7:40 Stumble Bear (b)
7 :43 These Bear Arms Are AIDS (b)
8:30 LCD Bearsystem (a)

Sunday July 18 (gates at 12 p.m.):
1:00 YDI (a)
1:00 Califone (covering Skrewdriver's Hail Victory (w/ banjos)) (b)
1:45 Everclear (c)
1:55 Adina Howard (b)
2:30 Marcy Playground (a)
2:50 Fireside Bowel Comedy Hour (b)
3:20 Elysian Fields (c)
3:45 Dink (Featuring Sockeye) (b)
4:15 Van Morrison der Graff Generator (a)
4:45 Clap Your Hands Say Tapes 'n Tapes (b)
5:15 J.C. Gabel & The Sleaze Creeps (c)
5:45 Charlene Oliver (b)
6:15 Everclear (a)
6:45 WC And The Maad Circle (b)
7:25 Apache (c)
7:40 Sammy Hagar (b)
8:30 Montrose (Featuring Sammy Hagar) (a)

OH NO.

The Lebron James Bench went to the festival! Some people sat on it (duh). That's a guy in a band,
but when he was talking about what band he was in, I fell asleep standing up.

People on the phone! I hate people on the phone. I am on the phone right now.

Lacey was in Seattle and was like: "take a picture for me" and I said, "well, okay" and I did and
sent this to her and her reply was, "OH SAM" because his phone cover is the color of Miami
Spring Break 1986. Soon I will live where Bekah livez.

I made a sign that stated we would pay people $1 if we could draw moustaches on their faces AND
SO MANY PEOPLE DID IT. I was just okay at drawing them, Caitie was the best.

That's KJ. She's the text master.

See, I told you! It was like master strokes. When I look at the guy with the sunglasses on his
shirt, Old Time Rock & Roll by Bob Seger starts playing in my head.

IS KJ STILL TEXTING. Okay, this photo is like 5 seconds after the other one.

It is Sarah G & one of those Guantánamo Bay dudes. Sarah G is not Lynndie England, Sarah Gardiner is Sarah Gardiner.

SLOTH RECORD ALERT. I drew that!

YES BILL ROE and the Nixon mannequin that freaked everybody out for three days straight.

OH NO Part 2: The New Batch.

This guy tried to convince me that his shirt was from 1936! Actually, I tried to
convince him of that. He said it was his grandfather's. I don't even know why I
got involved.

See what I mean! Look, the wheelchair! Oh, that guy's t-shirt, too.

So many moustaches.

So many moustaches.

So many moustaches.

KJ still textin' away. Caitie and I made it a habit to fake smile all weekend.

Zima! Also, a parasol & juice & some Nikes.

Hey, hello Mary Nisi. I like her so much.

So many moustaches.

So many moustaches.

So many moustaches.

This girl dropped all of these HOLY FUCK flyers and was like "FUCK" and a person next to me
said, "what a missed opportunity". I was sitting in the wheelchair and everybody who helped
pick them up looked at me but I could only shrug my shoulders like, "WHAT?"

It was Sam's birthday! Happy birthday, Sam.

So many moustaches.

So many moustaches & Nicole Berland. She has my Netflix password and she watches things like " Tudors: Ssn 2: Ep 3".

I am so glad that the music festival is over, I never want to go to another one ever again.