If you're having a hard time,
YOU CAN GO TO BLUFF CITY! Memphis is known for a lot of things, but to me it's now known as the "GREAT HEALER + FRIED CHICKEN"
because when you can't eat, that's what you should at least try to eat. On my final day of reckoning I called Bob & SKL and told them I
was coming. They weren't too sure at first, but then I made it clear that I wasn't asking, I was telling. On the way out of town I bought
a bunch of apples & cashews from Stanley's. I noticed a girl that looked like a brown haired Molly Ringwald and knowing that I had less than
nothing to lose, I waited for her outside with 9 apples in my shirt. I asked her on a date, her timely reply: "NO WAY".
UPDATE: WHO KNEW!?

This is what you will see when you drive to Memphis, a lot of flat land and trucks and bugs on the windscreen. Sometimes the police will try to give you a ticket,
but you can avoid them by playing Zaxxon in your head.

This is the Chick-fil-A University Campus headquarters. More than 43 chicken sandwiches are sold here everyday. Chick-fil-A is
not open on Sunday because that's God's day. But every other day it's ok to sell dead chickens between pieces of bread. Information is everywhere!

Sara-Kaye L and I went to Graceland Too (in my head). Sara warned me that if I take the low road I will end up like the guy
that runs this place. I took the low road for another 12 minutes and swiftly changed my mind. (mime). Bob decided that I would
run MARK E. SMITH'S HOUSE TOO in 23 years, my teeth falling out while explaining the different pressings of This Nation's
Saving Grace.

You see, this guy is UN-MAGICAL. You cannot live in a house full of things and be magical, you get caught up in the details. This is
a self-help internet post, you are going to feel better soon. I am going to feel better soon. If you are depressed you can or cannot go
to Graceland Too. I am not bossy, bossy.

OH MAN, the guy at Gus' Chicken. Bob Mehr is the undeclared governor of TN, so he gets to walk into the kitchen of
almost every restaurant. Where Bob goes we followed, usually asking, "Is it OK for us to be here, too?" In this place
we ate delightful chunks of chicken, sold also on Sundays.

Everybody in Memphis goes to the Lamplighter all of the time. This place is where the burgers are. I wouldn't really know because
I was on a strict apple & Remerol diet. These people are having a good time because they are out on the town and their spouses
are at home listening to Grishams and eating Wheat Thins. (That's an inside joke! I met Victoria LeGrand 3 hours ago!)

The Old Miss. The Old Man. DEEEEEEP RIVER, COMIN' FORE TO CARRY ME HOME, SWING LOW, CHARIOT. Only one person will understand this.

 

Who knew that Napoleon Hill was from Memphis? Well, me and SKL did. We took an unguided trip to his house and knocked on the
door of the house that he grew up in. We thought and grew rich about the fact that the people who lived there had no idea who he was.
I went to a bachelor party two nights ago and saw strippers.

THIS IS THE HAUNTED INN! That Ghostbusters (TM) painting is totally licensed. I asked the person working at the gas
station across the street. The bathrooms there were extra gross.

The Old Miss. The Old Man. DEEEEEEP RIVER, COMIN' FORE TO CARRY ME HOME, SWING LOW, CHARIOT. Only one person will understand this.

When you leave town on a whim, you might need to bring 398 CDs. You will most likely listen to 37 of them, but at least you have a choice. Look how blue that car is!

This is the PT Cruiser that I named "Martin". When I first arrived at the rental place the guy at the desk said, "Well, I have you down for
a PT Cruiser, but for $5 extra per day I can give you a Chevy Malibu." I said that I wanted the Chevy Malibu but then changed my mind
again to the PT Cruiser. Then I sat in it and noticed that there wasn't a CD player. So, knowing that I brought 426 CDs I went back inside
to get the Chevy Malibu but the person assured me that there was a CD player. I was not used to looking at CD players because my life
was a wreck.

This is what my car mostly looked like! I was ON THE LOOSE. Thank you Memphis, you cured my heart.