Derek Erdman's Digital Infinity Palace

Notes #1: Is there a movie that illustrates the possibility of having a life that a
character may not like, or that a character feels trapped in and then over
some time they find them self in a very different other place, and every-
thing seems like it should be? But the original trapped and unhappy part
has to really feel really permanent, like they're knitting a scarf for nobody
on a couch and watching a lot of cable TV (which is cool if you want
to do that!) surrounded by a bunch of expensive things that didn't help the
sadness (Glassybabies, comfortable blankets, extravagant takeaway
food) but they hate it and they secretly prefer to write for a crime
newspaper website or take photographs in Kenya. It seems like the movie
probably would have been made between 1996 and 2005, all drab pastel
colors and maybe Gwyneth Paltrow. I don't even know what I'm really talking
about right here, except to say that despite being in the very middle of a
usually soul smooshing Seattle winter, I am happy, happy, happy, so happy.
Sometimes you think that everything is going to be awful forever and then
it can rule again, and I think you're never too old for this to happen and
perhaps the key to happiness is knowing that you cannot rule all of the
time, but you can at least try. I am also glad that I will never father a baby.

Notes #2: Football Super Bowl sweatshirts! Buy them from Cairo Seattle RIGHT HERE.

Notes #3: The happiness started around the beginning of Decemeber
with a series of parties that reminded me of how much I like people. When
I plot the number of events since then, it's baffling that so much could
have even happened. I had the best birthday of my life where I cooked well
over 50 omelets, gave a haphazard tour of the Seattle Art Museum, went to
Vancouver, had myself filmed for Nancy Guppy's Art Zone, went to Hawaii,
worked a bunch, and started running laps on a track at a school very near
my house. I don't mean for this to seem like bragging, it's just a way for
me to de-marcate time, and to be honest, the running is the best thing,
even though a lot of neighborhood people treat the middle of the track
like a dog park and hardly ever pick up after their pets, on top of
letting them run loose to sometimes attack me when I am running. I am
usually about to faint be-cause I haven't really moved my body since
2004, and then suddenly there's a Labradoodle named 2 Chainz
trying to eat my legs. It's fucking maddening.
I call it "Doin' Time at Dog Shit Park."

Notes #4: I reckon the point of all of this is to say "hello" and "thanks" to you
who are reading this, and for people who wrote nice letters and emails and
sent cards. Excellent books I have read in the last months that were pretty
good: 1Q84 (2009), Dream Brother: The Lives and Music of Jeff and Tim
Buckley (2001), Black Postcards (2008), The Loved One (1948), Clothes
Clothes Clothes Music Music Music Boys Boys Boys (2014), Crackhouse
(1993), Just Kids (2010), The Naked Civil Servant (Flamingo) (1996).

How are you? What is new? What books are good? Answer here.

And as usual on January 22nd, happy birthday to Julia Rickert and Liz
Clayton, two people who make the world an infinitely better place.

Birthday Party Invite / DESSERT, Seattle WA 2015

I went to college with a girl named Vicki who is really beautiful
in the 1970 magazine fashion model kind of way (you know like
Cheryl Tiegs / Christie Brinkley 1980). Back then she let me drive
her new Jeep in a gas station parking lot and I crashed it.
Now she lives in Pennsylvania and has a child and he's having a
birthday party and she asked me to make some drawings for
the invitation so I did but it's not like I'm going to charge her
because I have tact these days.

Birthday Presents Table, Seattle WA 2014

If you're totally obnoxious you can ask everybody to send
you a birthday card and there's a chance that they'll do it!
I'm still writing thank you notes for all of these, but I have an
inkling that etiquette dictates that I have one year to do this.

Twice Sold Tales Cat, Seattle WA 2014

Look at this darling baby big boy who lives in a bookstore! I don't
even know the gender of this cat, actually. But you can go to this book-
store and see him and get sneezy if your breathing tubes are like mine,
and also buy a ton of excellent books at really good prices.

Raya & the Bullshit Dollar, Seattle WA 2014

On Christmas eve some people came over and we played
games and bet on the games and when you're a poor loser
you can draw on the dollar so the winner will be uncomfor-
table spending it, but I eventually ended up winning it back,
so the joke was indeed on me as usual.

Charles Chips | Seattle WA 2014 | 18"x24" | LATEX ON WOOD
$100 BUY HERE (shipping included)

Charles Chips are potato chips, I think mostly in the Midwestern part
of the USA, and they're salty and fried, just like other potato chips,
but also they come in a giant tin can that you can use for other things,
like a coin bank or a drum or putting on your head and being a robot.
At the end of the day, as potato chips, they're just okay.

Cheeseburger Birthday Cake, Seattle WA 2014

"Happy Birthday Derek Erdman I made you a cheeseburger cake, have fun
at yr party @ yr house." Kim Selling, 12/06/2014 (as evidenced by this
and many other things, it's become obvious that humanity is better off
with Kim Selling as a part of it.)

Ching Store, Maui Hawaii 2014

Lacey and I were driving to Hana and we really needed gas
(well, Lacey didn't: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)
and we found this gas station with a whole bunch of really
old and big cigarette package replicas everywhere and we
asked the lasy working if we could but some and she look-
ed at us like we were fucking crazy. More info here.

Christmas Pandas, Seattle WA 2014

Marianne Spellman bought these pandas and then gave them to her
child as a gift. Thank heaven for Marianne Spellman!
(^^^vague rhyme right there^^^)

Cookie Monster, Seattle WA 2015

Part of the Erdman / Leary graffiti massacre of 2015.
Our motto: NO WAY NEVER AGAIN.

Drool Duck | Seattle WA 2014 | 12"x12" | LATEX ON WOOD
$100 BUY HERE (shipping included)

Tongue Dawg | Seattle WA 2014 | 12"x12" | LATEX ON WOOD
$100 BUY HERE (shipping included)

Daisies 1966 #3 | Seattle WA 2014 | 30"x30" | LATEX ON WOOD
$250 BUY HERE (shipping included)

YES | Seattle WA 2014 | 12"x12" | LATEX ON WOOD
$50 BUY HERE (shipping included)

Double Pink Cats #37 | Seattle WA 2014 | 18"x18" | LATEX ON WOOD
$100 BUY HERE (shipping included)

Double Toasts, Seattle WA 2015

If you're ever in dismay, and your life is feeling gray;
At the beginning of the day, have some eggs without delay.
Add some toast to sop the yolk, that is what it's for;
If there's too much yolk to sop, toast some bread some more.

LOL BRB L8R, Seattle WA 2015

I cannot believe that I was forced to go to Catholic
school as a child. What a trauma that was!

Personal Drunk of the Week, Seattle WA 2014

Xela the Zebra Buddy left town and even though she said
she was going to burn all of her bridges, I don't think that
she really did. At least not with me, she's pretty cool still.
The world needs Xelas, she's society's foil.

Hamburger Ashley #1, Seattle WA 2014

Rob and Lacey: Beach Edition, Maui Hawaii 2014

Lacey and I went into the wilds of Hawaii and met Rob and Sarah
at the place where they take care of a house. There were geese and
wild pigs and human poachers and parties with bonfires and some
wealthy people. I was really worried about sleeping in a tent on
the ground and I don't really like camping, but they somehow
sensed this and let me sleep on the most comfortable inflata-
mattress in the history of the world and I will be always thankful.
Rob has a blog that he has been updating since 1937 and it's
excellently readable, do yourself the favor: www.zverina.com

Happy Monikkah, Seattle WA 2014

This seemed like an easy enough joke, and the night that
I made it, some people came over to watch the movie Gone Girl,
which was really great, and then I gave it to Julia from Chastity
Belt and I would bet $15 that she no longer has it, but that's cool.

Hello Derek, WA / OR 2014

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Elvia Carreon Elvia Carreon Elvia Carreon Elvia Carreon

Your Favorite Things, Seattle WA 2014

I gave a tour of a part of the Seattle Art Museum with my
friend Bridget and we were pretty worried that nobody was
going to come and then a whole bunch of people came,
but at the very end it kind of seemed like maybe they'd
wished that they'd hadn't. I did at least get to tell people
that Max Ersnt was born in Australia and had a pet goat.
(^^^unfortunately not true^^^)

Another Hoeckel Painting, Seattle WA 2014

I'm going to assume that Beth Hoeckel is really tired
of my stealing her ideas for paintings, but you should
absolutely behold her stunning brilliance right over here,
regardless of how she feels.

Jasper Holiday Card, Seattle WA 2014

RIP Le Zinc, Seattle WA 2015

Part of the Erdman / Leary graffiti massacre of 2015.
Our motto: NO WAY NEVER AGAIN.

Literary Ghosts, Chicago IL 2015

A small portion of a soon to be released batch of
temp tattoos for Poetry Magazine.

Dog Painting / Birthday Robot, Seattle WA 2015

These two images are mostly unrelated, the one
of the left is by brilliant Angel Cabellos and the right
is a card by the also brilliant Marieke McClendon.

Mr. Pecknold + I, Seattle WA 2014

I met Mr. Pecknold! What a guy! I also really
want a quilted jacket! I tried to buy one at the
thrift store yesterday! I couldn't find one!

Me & Some Eleven Year Olds, Seattle WA 2014

I gave a work tour to a group of well behaved adolescents and
at the very end I realized that when they were born I was
already driving and doing taxes and now I am a hundred
years old but it's cool because when you get old you stop
caring about petty bullshit (sorry 4 swearing).

Bathroom Door, Maui Hawaii 2014

This is a nice sign in a beach bathroom in Hawaii. Because
nobody wants to see anybody going to that bathroom, all of
that stuff is really gross, that's why I never talk about it yuck.

Paintings Batch, Seattle WA 2014

I have a lot of paintings that sometimes don't make it
onto here or on iGram, so if you're interested you can
call me on the phone and I will tell you about them.

Patsy Takemoto Mink, Maui Hawaii 2014

Did you know that Patsy Mink has her own post office,
and also that we share the same birthday? Other than that
we don't have much in common, but I also don't have my
own post office, and I think I wouldn't even want one. What
would you even do with your own post office? Unfun fact:
Patsy contracted the chickenpox and went to the hospital
and never came back.

Pooka Shell Airplane Selfie, Pacific Ocean 2014

I did this and I'm not entirely proud of it. There's a
picture below this one of a hand wearing a bunch
of Hawaiian-style hippie bracelets, but I'm going to
deny that it's mine.

Pooka Shell Hippie Bracelets, Maui Hawaii 2014

This is not my arm, I am also not currently wearing
these bracelets right now.

Rainier Mountain | Seattle WA 2014 | 48"x36" | LATEX ON WOOD
$300 BUY HERE (shipping not available)

RIP You Eventually, Seattle WA 2015

Part of the Erdman / Leary graffiti massacre of 2015.
Our motto: NO WAY NEVER AGAIN.

Roberto Clemente | Seattle WA 2014 | 24" | LATEX ON WOOD
$120 BUY HERE (shipping included)

Sand Pup, Maui Hawaii 2014

Look at this dawg of paradise! He doesn't even
care that he's eating what will eventually be a
windows. They say that it's a dog's life, but I
have no fucking clue what that mean or who
even "they" are.

Meeting Santa, Vancouver BC 2014

I went to the top of Grouse Mountain and met Santa Claus and
he was a pretty good dude but I suspect it wasn't the real
Santa Claus because Santa Claus isn't Canadian, eh.