Go ahead and sit at a desk where you work and look at the pictures below as I show you how to make
"B+T STRING CHEESE SCRAMBLED EGGS W/ ALMONDS OR CHIPS"

As with anything when you make something, you need things to make it out of. Here are the
things that I am making this thing out of. The green & red things came out of the garden in
the backyard. Thanks April Sims & Lacey & Ruben! Also, there is cold old coffee, which
you will not be using to cook.

Okay, now get a knife and mash those things up! As you can see I stringed the cheese as well. Right
after this I broke the eggs into a coffee mug and pressed a saucer over the top and shook it like crazy.
Actually, I didn't really do this, but you should try it. SOUNDS MESSY!

See what I've done here? I'm cooking eggs in butter. I probably should have put the broccoli in first
to soften it up, but it was pretty wilted because it's been on the counter for 9 days. And look! Pepper!
I also put in some sea salt. The other night somebody told me that sea salt was low in sodium, but
I was kind of woozy from red wine & Coca-Cola, so it might have been Chuy telling me. CHUY IS A DOG.

So, when you're cooking, just put a bunch of things over heat and stir 'em on up. Here I've
added some stuff to the other stuff. Also, the bread is in the toaster. It is becoming toast.
Watch me multi-task. Or read about me multi-tasking. My advice to you is to care less
about everything and see how your life will really improve! Also, you may get chubby
& lazy (it's cool though).

And then the heat clumps everything up and it kind of turns into goo. Put the red things in last
because if you cook them too long everything gets gross. It would be a lot better if this was a
gas stove, but as Mick Jagger once said: "People, who's fighting and what for?"

Don't forget to garnish! Garnish on food is totally necessary. Actually, I don't have any idea
why people garnish things. I put some almonds on these eggs to give them a Tunisian flair.
Also, I ate some of the toast (pictured). Then I took the almonds off because almonds with
eggs is a bad idea. I don't even know WHAT they eat in Tunisia.

LOOK, ANOTHER GARNISH! These are salt & vinegar Pop Chips. Have you had Pop Chips
yet? They're really tasty, no joke. So then, eat your meal! Don't do it in front of a TV or
computer though, that's tacky. Sit on the front porch and have a cat named Larry rub his
head all over your hands so you have an awful allergic reaction all over the place. YOU'RE
SUPPOSED TO BE FOLLOWING MY DIRECTIONS HERE. (Wrist hairband courtesy of The Belle)

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